Tag Archives: confidence

Getting On Santa’s ‘Naughty List’ With The Art Of Sexy Holiday Flirting


The Holidays are a perfect time for sexy flirting. Whether single or partnered, you can have fun getting on Santa’s ‘naughty’ list by performing the very effective art of sexy flirting.

Men love flirty gestures. They feel admired and get the validation they need to approach you. Don’t think that flirting is just for the singles, though. It adds so much excitement and pleasure for partners, as well. It’s easy for couples to get into a rut and forget the fun and spicy side of their relationship, especially when trying to raise a family and hold down challenging careers. Flirting, smiling, being daring and trying something new releases some wonderful ‘happy hormones’ and can have some very positive and amazing results, so don’t hold back.

Flirting, however, takes guts and confidence. It means you have to be light-hearted and open to fun and new experiences. Therefore, you may get nervous because you are stepping out of your routine and comfort zone. That’s OK, just take a few deep breaths and do it anyway. Trust me, your efforts will be well worth it.

For a quick and easy boost to your confidence, especially if you are painfully shy, check out my very active and fun guided meditation called Sexy Irresistible YOU, which is currently 50% off during our holiday special. Doing so will activate the powerful and magnificent sexy YOU!

Here are some hot flirting tips to ramp up your sex appeal – Ooh La La!!

Tamara’s Hot Flirty Holiday Tips For Singles:
  • At a gathering, smile at a guy that’s caught your eye from across the room, look away then smile at him again. He’ll keep his eyes glued onto you, for sure! Keep it up until he walks over to you.
  • Men are visual and love the adventure of surprise, so write a question on a cocktail napkin and slide it across the table or bar right to him. Make sure you’re smiling while doing this. Extra brownie points for making the gutsy move of winking, as well. What you write could be as simple as, “Nice shirt you’re wearing!”
  • This one definitely takes guts, but it’s very effective. Let your admiration show by using your eyes to take-in every inch of that hunk you’d like to meet from across the room. Start with their feet moving up very slowly and deliberately until you reach their eyes, at which point you smile, nod your head in approval, and give him a ‘thumbs up.’ Let him know that you like what you see. Then, count the seconds it takes for him to introduce himself to you.
  • Can’t go quite that bold, yet? Try this one then. Wherever you’re sitting, cross your legs and make sure the foot of your leg on top is pointed in the direction of that man you’re interested in meeting. Bob your foot up and down while looking in his direction. Let him know that you are “pointing” at him.
  • Spice things up and wear red. There are many shades of red, so pick one that’s perfect for your skin tone. Again, men are visual. Studies show that men find women who wear red as very attractive. Also, show a little skin with a scooped or ‘V’ neckline. Wear a dress and show your legs. Come on! It’s the Holidays, so wear something festive and slightly revealing! Don’t go too far, though. Stay away from the slutty look, unless you’re only interested in a one-night hookup.
Tamara’s Hot Flirty Holiday Tips For Couples:
  • During holiday parties, show up separately and pretend you don’t know each other. Then, pick each other up. Have fun using pick-up lines like, “Have we met before?” or “What’s your sign?”
  • Imagine your partner as your favorite dessert. While licking your lips, say to him something like, “Later, I’m going to devour you like my favorite Tiramisu!” Scrumptious!
  • At a family gathering or office party, get the juices flowing by telling your partner that you bought him a “surprise” or “naughty” gift that has to be opened in private…”later”. Wink, wink 😉
  • Tell your handsome hunk how delicious he looks, how sexy he is and how he turns you on. More winking!
  • Be alluring by playing with your hair or jewelry while listening intently to your guy.
  • Get an App for couples. Go ahead and Google “Apps for lovers” and see what’s out there for sexy and fun messaging with your special someone.
  • Ask questions you don’t normally ask, such as, “What’s your wildest fantasy? I’d like to help you fulfill it.”
  • Get ‘in the mood’ by giving a foot rub to your partner. This lowers the energy out of that stinkin’ thinkin’ head (the upper one). At the same time, tell him how much he turns you on or what you plan to do to him after the foot rub. Anticipation is a great way to get the energy flowing in the ‘right’ places.

This holiday, be sugar and spice and everything nice. Practice the art of sexy flirting to make sure you make Santa’s ‘Naughty List’ and have fun while doing it!!

 

 

 

Shopping For ‘The One’

I love featuring guest bloggers, so please enjoy this one about the ups and downs of being a single woman in Boston while searching for ‘the One.’

Shopping For ‘The One’

SamanthaDarcyMore than two years ago, while in a failing eight year relationship and swimming in debt, I couldn’t imagine how anyone would be able to go it alone in a world where anything of high quality came with an even higher price tag. As I wasted months delaying the inevitable and dreading the decision to part from my high school sweetheart, I knew I had to take control of my life’s desires. Without a warning about life in a one-woman show, this 25-year-old first time single female set out in search of ‘the One.’

During that time, life came with its fair share of struggles as I turned to family, friends, counselors, spiritual advisers, and even a psychic for answers to my burning questions. I laughed and cried, almost loved and lost, obsessed, gave up, then danced and sang through the pain. Despite each fall, I got back on the horse, learning more about myself in the process.

For some, finding the right ‘One’ is easy. It comes wrapped with a pretty little bow and life goes on. Wanting to, but refusing to look back and harp on my unluckiness in love, I made it a goal to strive for ‘anything but dull’ and to become someone that I would admire.

I am an interior designer at Boston’s most prestigious architecture firm, designing multi-million dollar corporate interiors. In my free time, I also volunteer my graphic design services, creating anything from logos and business cards to wedding invitations and baby announcements. I have a fantastic family and a dynamite group of Zumba-loving friends, a new two door coupe, my own apartment in the city, and an active full life.

The minute my relationship ended, I surrounded myself with family and friends, and decided to explore the city that I didn’t know, despite living in it for six years. I met new people through new hobbies, began working out, volunteering, and took up writing. I have more hobbies than I can count, am rarely bored, and hardly ever turn down plans, especially after realizing how much of life is measured in experiences.

Somewhere in between, I find time to window-shop for boys.

Filtering through attractiveness, age, height, education, and zodiac sign (just to name a few) the idea of online dating was an exciting thought in the beginning. “Bald and short men need not apply!”

Fast-forward two years, when the bald ones become my favorite and the height requirement came down a few inches. It was becoming crystal clear to me why dating is a bouquet of smoke and mirrors. With over 30 first dates under my belt and an average of weeding through 7-10 duds to find a match, I had been left to wonder, Why I am the exception? On the path to bettering myself, meeting many people along the way, I raised my standards. Rushing to find someone became second to finding my equal. True chemistry proved rare, but essential. Finding the right person at the right time surfaced as another seemingly impossible necessity.

I had wanted the process of finding ‘the One’ to feel like Christmas morning instead of wondering if I should get a gift receipt. It’s been a journey of emotional ups and downs on what feels like an endless ride on a roller coaster. Each time I get to know someone new, it’s filled with mystery, questions, uncertainty, anxiety, and self-consciousness. At times, I’ve debated signing up for a match-making television show, knowing full well I am not built for TV. Other times, I’ve joked about a billboard-sized single’s ad with a ‘1-800-‘ number.

I’ve been someone’s rebound, someone’s one-that-got-away, someone’s future nothing, someone’s fun night, someone’s right now, someone’s foreign love affair, someone’s lover turned friend, and painfully enough, someone’s “maybe someday.” Each time, I try to remember that I am putting a mark on their lives as they are putting theirs on mine.

People come into your life for many reasons. Some come long enough to teach you something and then disappear, while others come in as a little boost to make me realize, I’ve still got it!

While in search, I try to remind myself, this is my life for now, but it can change in an instant with everything before it a distant memory.

Like anyone else, I have good and bad days and can feel completely alone, even in a room filled with my favorite people. There are some days where no amount of tears, friends, fro-yo, or ‘tattling on your ex to his mother’ can take away the pain of a broken heart. Eventually, time heals most wounds and I realize that I wouldn’t be half the person I am without each failure, success, new experience, interest, and character.

Still to this day, I am learning how to let go, to love, and to be patient. I just have to keep moving forward, until I find what works.

With all my dating, relationships, loves and losses, I have to believe that anything worth anything is worth the work and worth the wait.

Samantha Darcy is an interior designer living in Boston, Massachusetts. She started writing in 2013 at the end of a nearly 8-year relationship with her high school sweetheart. After an outpouring of encouragement to write about her experiences, she started compiling stories of life, love, loss, and dating on her journey to find ‘the One.’ You can read more blogs from Samantha at FindMyHand.wordpress.com.

 

Finding Gifts In Every Challenge: 3 Rounds Of Ho’oponopono

beach couple

Challenges can be emotionally and even physically painful, not only for you, but also for your loved one who is often right by your side. I know because I was there when my husband, David, was going through his major life challenge – cancer. Together, we experienced the emotional shock of hearing the doctor tell him, “You have stage-4 cancer.” During his chemo, radiation and finally major surgery, he was so uncomfortable that it was sometimes difficult seeing him go through it. His challenge became my challenge, too. Even so, the experience turned into amazing gifts for both of us. Here are three:

  • David is now cancer free and healthy as ever.
  • Our relationship grew even closer.
  • We use our unique talents to create healing meditations that we love to gift to others. In our Loving Meditations audios, I guide you with my words while David’s music takes you into an even deeper and tranquil state. The combination is powerful.

Every challenge has a degree of benefit and your job is to find what those benefits are. To help you do this, I will share with you a meditation using an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness called Ho’oponopono (pronounced Hoe’ oh-poe-no-poe-no).  When done regularly, it can be quite healing.

Everything in your life – your likes, dislikes, passions, health problems, relationship, etc. – you create.  In fact, you create everything your experience. How, then, can you deal with the challenges you create? By using Ho’oponopono to speak directly to Source energy with the following phrases:

“I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.”

When looking at another person (and sometimes yourself) and feeling disgust, anger, judgment, hatred, etc., whatever comes up, just feel it – it’s okay. Then say to yourself (not out loud) – to your connection with Source energy:

“I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.”

Everything you experience in your outer world, you experience in your inner world.  Therefore, the problems and challenges need to be corrected and healed within you by offering them to Source energy – which is the energy of unconditional love.

As you may experience in the 3 rounds of Ho’oponopono, it gives you the power to erase negative beliefs and outcomes.  As you do it for you, you also do it for others… and, consequently, the world.

3 Rounds Of Ho’oponopono:

You’ll get a better understanding of what the phrases mean and how they will release you as we go along. Take three deep breaths to get started. Relax your eyes and lower your shoulders. Say to yourself – to Source energy:

Round 1… Releasing Fear
  • I’m sorry… I’m sorry for being scared… I’m sorry for feeling the way that I do. I’m sorry for believing the illusion of fear… for unconsciously bringing this onto myself… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
  • Please forgive me… for being so blind when I didn’t mean to be. Please forgive me… I know that forgiveness is setting me free, so please forgive me.
  • Thank you… Thank you for helping me. I know that gratitude is a transmuting energy, so thank you… Thank you… I know that fear is only a projection of my mind. Thank you… for bringing me into this moment so that I can release my fear. Thank you.
  • I love you… and I love knowing that everything is love, including me. I love you… the name of Source energy… the name of this experience… I love you.
Round 2… Releasing Self-Hatred
  • I’m sorry… I’m sorry for hating myself… I’m sorry for feeling the way that I do. I’m sorry for making myself wrong… I’m sorry for beating myself up… for unconsciously bringing this onto myself… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
  • Please forgive me… for being so blind and not realizing what I was doing to myself. Please forgive me… I know that forgiveness is setting me free, so please forgive me.
  • Thank you… thank you for this experience… Thank you for helping me. I know that gratitude is a transmuting energy, so thank you… I know that this hatred is only fear projected onto myself. Thank you… for bringing me into this moment so that I can release my self-hatred. Thank you.
  • I love you… and I love knowing that everything is love, including me. I love you… the name of Source energy… the name of this experience… I love you.
Round 2… Releasing Anger
  • I’m sorry… I’m sorry for holding onto anger… I’m sorry for beating myself up for feeling angry… I’m sorry for projecting my anger onto others… I’m sorry for unconsciously bringing this onto myself… This has been eating me up inside… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.
  • Please forgive me… for being so blind and not realizing what this is doing to me. Please forgive me… I know that forgiveness is setting me free, so please forgive me.
  • Thank you… Thank you for this experience… Thank you for helping me. I know that gratitude is a transmuting energy, so thank you… I know that this moment is perfect, just as it is. Thank you… I know that holding onto anger only keeps me tied to my past. I am not a victim, so thank you… for bringing me into this moment so that I can release this anger. Thank you.
  • I love you… and I love knowing that everything is love, including me. I love you… the name of Source energy… the name of this experience… I love you.

You did a great job. This is your inner wisdom at work. Everything you experience in relationships is never between you and someone else. It’s between you and Source energy and it’s between them and Source energy – never between you and them.

Recite the phrases in any order.  Never say it to another person, just to yourself.  Say the Ho’oponopono phrases around the clock:

“I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.”

To have your challenges turn into gifts, have Ho’oponopono constantly playing in the background of your mind. In doing so, your life will be transformed.

Step into the world of pure surrender, forgiveness and bliss by listening to this blog as an audio (24 hour replay available on Monday). To receive this creation by Tamara and David, please make sure you are signed up for Miracle Mondays Meditation.

Sending you off with love…

You Will Experience Your Love Desires: 3 Universal Truths That Prove This, Part II

IMG_2582I know an amazing woman named Brooke. She came to one of my workshops where I gave the homework assignment of writing on Post-It notes, “The Universe Has My Back,” and sticking them all around the house – as a constant reminder that we are always loved, supported and guided. Brooke did so, even though her kids teased her. But that didn’t stop her because she was soothed by the daily reminder that, yes indeed, the Universe really does have her back.

Today, Brooke sent me a photo of a miniature-sized Adirondack Chair with the words written on it, “The Universe Has Your Back Brooke” (see photo). Her daughter, 14-year-old Jill created it at her camp and sent this photo to her Mom.

Two weeks ago, in my blog, You Will Experience Your Love Desires: 3 Universal Truths That Prove This, Part I, I gave you 3 Universal Truths that prove that your love desires will actualize. Let’s explore, then, why you haven’t yet created them and how to unblock this loveless and vicious cycle.

Universal Truth #1: You have a Higher Self that guides every moment of your existence.

Are you tuned in to that guidance? Every thought you have is like a hypnotic suggestion, therefore, what are you thinking when you think about love? What are your true beliefs about love? If you are single, you may have a belief that love is difficult to attract, or, that you have to give up something (like yourself) to have love. Or maybe you don’t believe that you are good enough for love. If you are already in a relationship, then maybe you believe that you shouldn’t fully trust because you’ll just get hurt or dumped. Therefore, the question to ask yourself is, are your thoughts hijacking your love intention?

 Tip to tune into your own higher guidance: Write a list of every complaint you have about your love life (or lack thereof). One by one, take each complaint and say the opposite. In other words, turn it into an affirmation that you’ll repeat for the next 30 days. For example, if your complaint is that it’s difficult to find love. Switch it to the opposite by writing, “It’s easy to find love.” Go ahead and turn each complaint into a positive and reap the benefits of a rewired and positive mind.

 Universal Truth #2: Time exists only in this moment.

Having a grudge about something that happened in your past or having ill feelings about someone is the fastest way to sabotage your good intentions for love. Also, focusing on the future that’s not even here yet is often not helpful. For example, one of the fastest ways that women sabotage a date is by immediately deciding whether the guy is marriage material or not. Ladies, please stop that because it takes you right out of the present moment and produces anxiety for you and your date.

Tip to stay present: Do what Brooke did. Stay calm and present by reminding yourself that the Universe has your back. Go ahead and write that on at least 20 Post-It notes and stick them around your home. They will be your constant reminder to stay present, relax and enjoy your life as it is.

Universal Truth #3: Having a desire means that it will actualize.

Most people doubt this and try to use their brains to figure out what to do instead of being with what is. People tend to stick with their bad habits of negative self-talk and behaviors.

Tip to have what you desire: Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for what you do have.

I’d like to thank Brooke for sharing her daughter’s beautiful creation and for reminding us all that your love desire will actualize if you let your Higher Self guide, love and support you.

2 Exciting Announcements!

I am limitless 1200x628

The other day I posted the affirmation, “I am limitless!” I used to focus on my limits, however, with my spiritual practice of gratitude, meditation and body yoga, I’ve become the limitlessness that I once dreamed of. I would like you to experience this, too. Therefore, please join me for one or both of my deeply healing, fun and informative courses in my hometown, Scarsdale, NY. Looking forward to seeing you there.

Discover the Emotional Healing Powers of Meditation

Stress and tension can result in fear, playing havoc with your relationships, career and even finances.  On the physical level, negative emotions contribute to injuries and illnesses.  Such emotions can also cause you to be tormented by false perceptions about the choices you have made and other issues.  See how stress, worry, and anxiety can dissipate when you clear your mind of these disturbances and connect to your inner child and forgiveness.

Three Wednesdays, starting 9/16 (no class 9/23, 10/7) • 7–9pm • Scarsdale High School • Course – $90 • Register now

Transform Your Life Using The Sacred Flames: A Self-Healing Workshop

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and feed him for a lifetime. This well-known proverb sets the tone for this course. Understanding, embodying and invoking the 7 Sacred Flames teaches you how to fish, so to speak, because it unlocks any barriers to a life filled with ease, joy and harmony.  In this course, students will experience how easy it is to master the 7 main love-energies that will cure any problem. You will also learn the Universal Laws, which are rooted in Divine Love. These Laws are important because without them your life becomes chaotic and out of control. When you obey these Laws, you become karma-free, experiencing more peace and serenity. To deepen your healing experience in this class, Tamara has created 7 beautiful guided meditations that correspond to each Flame. All students of this course will receive free chapters of Tamara’s book, Transform Your Life Using The 7 Sacred Flames, Daily Guided Meditations.

Three Thursdays, starting 10/22 • 7-9pm • Scarsdale High School • Course  – $90 • Register now

TAMARA GREEN, LCSW is a psychotherapist, relationship expert, energy healer, past-life regression hypnotherapist and meditation facilitator.

 

13 Hot Flirting Tips: Making This Summer Sexy Fun

Power Sexy You - Copy

Summer is a perfect time for sexy, flirty fun. Watch out men because you won’t be able to resist women who are performing the very effective art of sexy flirting!!

Men love flirty gestures. They feel admired and get the validation they need to approach you. Don’t think for a second that flirting is just for the singles, though. It adds so much excitement and pleasure for partners, too. It’s easy for couples to get into a rut and forget the fun and spicy side of their relationship, especially when trying to raise a family and hold down challenging careers.

Flirting, smiling, being daring and trying something new releases ‘happy hormones’, creating positive results, so don’t hold back.

Flirting, however, takes guts and confidence. It requires you to be light-hearted and open to new experiences. You may feel nervous because you are stepping out of your routine and comfort zone. That’s OK, just take a few deep breaths and do it anyway. Trust me, your efforts will be well worth it.

For a quick and easy boost to your confidence, especially if you are painfully shy, going on a first date, getting over a divorce, or just plain rusty in the flirting department, check out my very upbeat-guided meditation called Sexy Irresistible YOU. Doing so will release ‘happy hormones’, which feels great and activates your magnificent sexy YOU!.

Here are some flirting tips to ramp up your sex appeal – Ooh La La!!

Tamara’s Hot Summer Flirty Tips For Couples:

  1. Next time you are invited to a BBQ or summer party, show up separately and pretend you don’t know each other. Then, pick each other up. Have fun using pick-up lines like, “Have we met before?” or “What’s your sign?” Laugh and enjoy each other’s company.
  1. Imagine your partner as your favorite dessert. While licking your lips, say to him something like, “Later, I’m going to devour you like my favorite Hot Fudge Sundae!” Scrumptious!
  1. Before coming home from work, get the juices flowing by calling or texting your guy and telling him that you bought “a surprise” or “a naughty gift” that has to be opened… “later.” Wink, wink. Surprise him with a sex toy, edible underwear or a can of whipped cream.
  1. Tell your handsome hunk how delicious he looks, how sexy he is and how he turns you on. More winking!
  1. Be alluring by playing with your jewelry or hair while listening intently to your guy as he’s talking to you.
  1. Get an App for couples. Go ahead and Google “Apps for lovers” and see what’s out there for sexy and fun messaging with your special someone.
  1. Ask questions you don’t normally ask, such as, “What’s your wildest fantasy? I’d like to help you fulfill it.”
  1. Get ‘in the mood’ by giving him a foot rub. This will help lower the energy out of his stinkin’ thinkin’ head (the upper one). At the same time, tell him how much he turns you on or what you plan to do to him after the foot rub. Anticipation is a great way to get the energy flowing in the ‘right’ places.

Tamara’s Hot Summer Flirty Tips For Singles:

  1. At a summer gathering, smile at a guy that’s caught your eye from across the room (or patio), look away then smile at him again. He’ll keep his eyes glued onto you for sure! Keep it up until he walks over to you.
  1. Remember, men are visual and love the adventure of surprise, so on your next date, write a comment on a cocktail napkin and slide it across the table or bar counter right over to him. Make sure you’re smiling while doing this. Extra brownie points for making the gutsy move of winking, as well. What you write could be as simple as, “Nice shirt you’re wearing!” Or, “I’m having fun.”
  1. This one definitely takes guts, but it’s very effective. Let your admiration show by using your eyes to take-in every inch of that hunk you’d like to meet from across the room. With a slight smile and a slow and deliberate gaze, look at his his feet, then knees, slowly moving up to his belly, chest, throat, and finally, his eyes. Once your eyes have locked, broaden your smile, nod your head in approval, and give him a ‘thumbs up’. There will be no doubt in his mind that you like what you see. Not being able to resist you, count the seconds it takes for him to walk over and introduce himself to you.
  1. Can’t go quite that bold, yet? No problem, try this one. Wherever you’re sitting, cross your legs and make sure the foot of your top leg is pointed in the direction of the man you’d like to meet. Bob that foot up and down in his direction, which is letting him know that you are “pointing” at him. His subconscious mind will get the message that you are interested in him.
  1. Spice things up and wear red. There are many shades of red, so pick one that’s perfect for your skin tone. Again, men are visual. Studies show that men find women who wear red as very attractive. Also, show a little skin with a scooped or ‘V’ neckline. Wear a dress and show your legs. Come on! It’s summer, so wear something festive and slightly revealing! Don’t go too far, though. Stay away from that slutty look, unless you’re only interested in a one-night hookup.

This summer, be sizzling and hot by practicing the art of sexy flirting. By all means, have fun while doing it!!

7 Sacred Flames: Independence From A Life Filled With Struggle

sparklerI used to bumble around in my life, trying to figure things out on my own and wondered why I was a big hot mess. Experiencing one huge struggle after the next, I spent most days feeling out of control. I was deeply influenced by others’ opinions of me. So eager to please, I accepted crumbs from all of my relationships. I hated myself and kept turning to others to give me the love that I wasn’t even willing to give myself.

Today is 4th of July, a U.S. holiday that represents independence. In those days, however, I felt anything but independent or free. In fact, I was in my own jail. Very dependent on others for constant direction and support, my core foundation was weak and easily crumbled at any harsh judgment or unkind word. I believed that my happiness was in the hands of others. It didn’t take much for me to be taken off course by the people and events around me. I even considered suicide, hoping to end the tortuous struggle that was my life.

Then, I found a book that saved my sanity and my life called Lazaris, The Sacred Journey: You And Your Higher Self, published in 1987. This book launched me into self-discovery. There was a particular section in the book that I read over and over. It talked about how we are never alone and that there is a Source energy that is nothing but Love. Because I spent much of my life feeling lonely, reading this was a huge comfort. By invoking this Source-Love energy, I eventually came to realize that life is not just about having things and surviving; it is about having a profound relationship with me and my Highest Self, which in turn, keeps me tuned in to Source.

My personal exploration led me to a daily practice of calling in the Love energies (also known as the 7 Sacred Flames), which completely transformed my life. As a result, I fell in love with me. Once I declared authentic love for myself, it wasn’t long before I met and married my soul mate and had 2 wonderful children. Today, I am also blessed with health and vitality and have a dream career. Now, everyday is Independence Day, filled with freedom and joy.

As a psychotherapist and relationship expert, I have certainly seen my share of people craving freedom from their struggles. Therefore, wanting you to be independent from constant fear, confusion and upset, I created an eBook packed with valuable information about the very same Source-Love energies that lifted me out of my own struggles.

Introducing

7 Sacred Flames To Transform Your Life: Your Daily Roadmap To Anything You Desire

This eBook will launch July 15th, but you can have it FREE by registering your email in this link

You, too, will make everyday Independence Day! Now, that’s worth celebrating!!

Stay tuned for next week’s blog where I share more exciting information about how the Flames will help you become ‘Lucky In Love’.

 

4 Self-Nurturing Habits That Help Conquer Relationship Agony

rowingDuring my undergraduate years at University of Southern California (USC), I rowed starboard for Women’s Varsity Crew. I loved the sport, even though the physical pain during races were almost unbearable. Sophie Pendrill, one of the Lightweight 8 U.S. National Champions, was reported as saying in The Scarsdale Inquirer (my local newspaper), “I was in so much pain. It’s very hard to explain the amount of pain I was in, but it was happy pain because we wanted to win by so much, and we did!” Sophie and I understand that if you want something bad enough, not only are you going to go through pain to get it, but it’s also worth it in the end.

Like rowing in a regatta, relationships can certainly cause tremendous pain, even agony. However, relationships are so worth it, right? What would life be without them? Nothing. Therefore, I’ve devoted my career to attracting, nurturing and preserving loving and healthy relationships. Would you like to find out how to have less pain and stress in your relationship? Then keep reading…

I was fortunate to be interviewed on the Making Dads Fertility Telesummit last week by Kristen Darcy. If you want great tips on how to get through stressful times in your relationship, then I strongly recommend that you listen to this very fun and upbeat hour on Google Hangout. It is filled with tools to get you through relationship stress during challenging times. You’re probably saying to yourself, “Did she just say that it was a ‘fun and upbeat hour’ about stress in relationships? What’s fun and upbeat about that?” Well, you have to watch the video to see how to stop taking all that ‘serious’ stuff so seriously. In doing so, your relationship will reap the benefits. Here’s an overview of what Kristen and I discussed during the interview:

4 Self-Nurturing Habits For Happy Relationships

  • Mindfulness: Be mindful of your thought patterns. What are you telling yourself about your situation? When you feel into that, does it feel bad or good? If it feels bad, then you are operating from judgment and fear. If it feels good, then you are operating from awareness and love. To keep you functioning in awareness, then ask yourself, “What unawareness am I using to create the ___(pain/agony/hopelessness…)___ that I’m choosing.” Don’t answer this or you’ll fall back into judgment. Instead, just ask and notice how much lighter you feel.
  • Calm your mind and receive. A relationship problem is a receiving problem. An unsettled mind is the equivalent to being un-receiving (which means you’re in judgment and fear). When you’re not receiving, you are blocking all the good stuff that’s trying to come your way. A meditation practice is a great way to receive loving energy on a regular basis. Join the Miracle Mondays Meditation community for free weekly guided meditation audios.
  • Take care of your inner child. Due to your relationship challenges, are you beating yourself up or feeling like a failure? Then, your inner child is suffering big time. And, if your inner child is suffering, then you’re causing yourself and your relationship unnecessary misery. Can you imagine if you were walking down the street and saw a terrified child being yelled at by their parent? Essentially, that’s what you’re doing to your own inner child. It’s time to change that damaging pattern to one of care, love and nurturance. Start today with a practice of complementing yourself, even for the tiniest things. For example, complement yourself for getting up and out of bed this morning. Don’t stop there; keep complementing, until you feel lighter and better.
  • Write a fan letter to you. Be your own avid fan by being in the practice of writing wonderful letters to yourself. For example, list all the reasons why you are a good person, how caring you are, and how proud you are of your accomplishments. Doing so will keep you feeling very good about yourself. When you feel good about you, then your relationship challenges will most likely dissolve.

Practice these self-nurturing tips to become the champion in your relationships – that is, the relationship with your partner AND WITH YOURSELF.

If you’d like to watch my entire interview on Restoring Intimacy and Healing from the Making Dads Fertility Summit  last week, you can watch it here! Thanks to Kristen Darcy for having me!

 

Three Secrets To Dating With Confidence

Dating with confidence. Tamara GreenWhat is confidence? It’s literally a fire in your belly, a stable and solid connection with Earth. It’s like an engine, providing the power to move you forward in your life. Dating without confidence, unfortunately, is a common phenomenon. Are you going out on dates and winging it, hoping that he or she will find you attractive and desirable? Like so many, are you focused on your fear of being rejected? Studies have shown that both men and women share this fear. They go out worrying about how they look, how they are going humiliate themselves and how their date is going to reject them. This is especially true for those with an ailment or disability. Men and woman have told me that they would rather stay home than have their worst rejection fears come true. However, I have worked with people of all sizes, shapes, ages, ailments, issues and situations who overcame their shame and embarrassment and stepped right into a loving relationship. I will share with you what I’ve told them, the 3 main secrets to gaining confidence while dating. It all has to do with your body, mind and soul.

Body Secret: People who have a lot of confidence tend to be robust and filled with vitality. They tend to feel warm in their bellies, providing a feeling of strength and wellness. People who lack confidence, however, may be leading too much of a sedentary life, feel cold in their bellies, have a lack of vitality and energy, and actually have difficulty receiving love. People with weakness in the Second Chakra, which is 2” below the navel, can experience confusion, purposelessness, jealousy and envy. Vulnerability in this area of the body can create impotence, uterine and/or bladder problems. Why is this? Ilchi Lee, Author of Healing Chakras, wrote, “In Asian medicine there is a concept called ‘water up – fire down’. It refers to the fact that, when in balance, the body demonstrates a very predictable pattern of circulation of energy. As the phrase suggests, when we are healthy, cool water energy should rise in the body, cooling the brain. Heat energy, on the other hand, should remain low in the body. When we are healthy, both mentally and physically, we keep a ‘cool head’ and a warm abdomen.”

Lack of confidence, therefore, is too much heat in the head and not enough warmth in the belly. To gain confidence, then, is to ‘water up and fire down’. If you follow the Confidence Building Meditation below, you’re going to activate your 2nd Chakra, heat up your belly, cool down your head and release all that stinkin’ thinkin’, which definitely creates your lack of confidence.

Mind Secret: Stop putting focus on you. Rather, put your attention on your date. People with shyness overcome this problem when they learn to transfer their attention onto a person, rather than on their own insecurities. I looked up the word ‘attention’ in a Thesaurus and these attributes were listed: caring, courteous, considerate, kind, helpful, thoughtful, and responsive. These are absolutely the qualities you want to express on a date, right? Of course you do!

Here’s a quick tip to stay mindful on the person you are with: Act as if you are an artist that is going to paint a portrait of your date. While in conversation, notice the shading of their skin and decide what colors you would choose to paint their face. Notice the shapes of their eyes, mouth and jaw and how you would draw that out on your canvas. Continue to notice the fine details of their features. You’ll find that your attention easily remains on them instead of you. This calms your mind and creates more presence. Try it, it’s fun!

Soul Secret: People are most calm and confident when they are in, what I call, the ‘neutral zone’. Neutrality is a state of balance, harmony and presence. It’s when you are OK with what is. Instead of having judgments or opinions of yourself or your date, you are just curious and interested in what shows up. I call this ‘dancing with presence’. Most people, however, communicate through their thoughts and emotions and not through their soul. To be free of your thoughts and emotions is to experience a life with no limitations. Thoughts (which creates heat in your head) and emotions are the lower harmonics of energy vibration, which creates energy blockages in your body. To release the blocks and have free flowing energy throughout, I created the Confidence Building Meditation, which combines the mind, body and soul secrets for great success in your love and dating life. Do you want to enjoy your next date with absolute confidence? Then, do this meditation before you go out. It’s invigorating!

To receive all downloads to Tamara’s Miracle Mondays Meditations, become an ‘Awakening To Love’ Member today.

Confidence Building Meditation:
Take off your shoes and stand with your feet flat on the floor, a little more than shoulder distance apart. Slightly bend and loosen your knees. Smile, this helps your body to relax. It’s hard to smile and be tense at the same time. Get the image of a gorilla pounding on his chest with his fists, but instead of focusing on the chest, you will be rhythmically drumming on your belling with your soft fists. I like to use the pinky finger side of my fists to pound on my abdomen, just 2” below the navel. Relax your body, close your eyes if you want to, and start the drumming beat. One, Two, Three, Four…One, Two, Three, Four…alternating your right and left fists – One, Two, Three, Four…One, Two, Three, Four. Tap on your belly as hard as you’d like. If you feel some pain, it means that you have blockages in this area, so keep going and breathe through it. Breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Eventually, the pain should subside. The key is to keep going and keep smiling. J (Note: If you feel sever pain, then immediately stop tapping. You may have a condition that requires a consult with a medical practitioner, especially if the pain persists.)

What you’re doing is warming up your belly. To help cool the mind, at the same time, gently shake your head back and forth as if saying “NO”. This helps to draw the stuck energy from your head down to your belly. “Water up – Fire down”. Do this for one minute more, while at the same time, keeping your attention fully on your 2nd Chakra. If you find that your mind drifts off, gently place your attention back onto your belly. “Water up – Fire down”, “Water up – Fire down”.  (Extra Brownie points if you go for a full 5 minutes.)

By the way, your internal organs are getting an amazing workout and massage by doing this. For those of you with bladder and other similar problems, don’t be surprised that your condition improves, but only if you do this exercise regularly. Your body really loves this healing energetic release.

Stop and shake out your hands and feet as if you are shaking off mud.  This helps to release the stuck energy even more. Now relax your head and hands and straighten your knees. Just feel the energy flowing nicely throughout your body. Breathe in….breathe out…Two more deep inhales and exhales.

Does your belly feel warmer? If not, you’ll want to continue tapping until it warms up. The key is for your mind to stay focused on your 2nd Chakra.

“Where your mind goes, energy goes, so stay focused on what you want.” Tamara Green

Here’s where the meditation gets really fun. Stand in a warrior position – legs at least shoulder distance apart and raise up your arms as if you have won a victory. Say out loud:

  • I feel confident!
  • I Am vital!
  • I feel good!
  • My body is balanced!
  • My mind is free!
  • I Am in the ‘Neutral Zone’!

(Repeat until you feel the energy of these words vibrating throughout your body. When you experience a lightness and expansiveness, then you know that you are there.)

Excellent! You did a great job! Now, go on that date and enjoy yourself. Each time you need to boost your confidence, remember to go over the 3 Secrets To Dating With Confidence and to do the meditation. And, for heaven’s sake, HAVE FUN!

HACK: Ramp Up Your Sexy

PowerSexyYou-revisedNothing is so riveting, so attractive, so exciting than to be with someone who is being their sexy self. What I mean is, they are being the very person that they truly are. They are NOT hiding who they are, not judging who they are, and not constricting who they are. They are just BEING. 

To illustrate what I’m talking about, let me tell you about the day I met my all-time favorite actress. The year was 1992 and I was working at a major NYC hospital. On this particular day, I was wearing my favorite dress (it was so in style at that time), and was having a great hair day. I knew that I looked really good. You know that feeling of confidence, that feeling of knowingness, that it’s going to be a wonderful day? Well, that’s where I was, enjoying all of me. In other words, I was in my sexy. That energy of mine filled up the rooms that I occupied that day.

So, I was in an elevator by myself and was so engrossed in a paper that I was reading, that I didn’t realize I had missed my floor – I was headed back to the lobby again. The elevator doors open and in walks 85 year old Katharine Hepburn. She wasn’t tall or glamorously dressed, in fact, she was wearing her On Golden Pond- like garb: khaki pants, white turtleneck with a large-brimmed straw hat.  It was as if she came straight from working in her garden to visit her doctor. Anyway, her energy was magnetic, confident, powerful, filled with sunshine, and well, sexy. It was only the two of us in that large elevator,

I was in the back and she was near the doors. After pushing the button for her floor, she turned around and, what happened next was one of the most memorable moments of my life. Without any words being spoken between us, she examined me like an unabashed child. First, she looked at my shoes, then looked up at my dress, then my face and hair. Then the magical moment – her twinkling eyes looked straight into mine, she smiled and tipped her hat in a gesture that said something like, “Wow! You’ve got it all, kid!”. I smiled back as if to say “thanks, I know”, the doors opened and she meandered off in her confident, sexy, her being totally her, kind of way. As if I wasn’t floating already that day, I was really floating now. What a sweet and wonderful day that was!

Now, this is what I mean by “sexy”. Both Katharine and I were being totally ourselves and loving it. We exuded our magnetic energy. Even though I use the word “sexy”, I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about you being the YOU that you really are. You are power. And in this power, you are sexy.

Now, what would it take to bring out your sexy?  First, notice that it feels good to be you. You are power. Feel the power of you. You are unique. Feel the uniqueness of you. You are a magnetic. Feel your magnetism. You are sexy. Feel your sexy. Own who you are.

Tamara’s Tips:

Repeat these statements, like mantras, for 3 days straight.  Then, walk into a store or down the street and notice that eyes are on you – because you are in your sexy. Notice your magnetism. Notice the power of you. Enjoy being your sexy self.

  • I AM power
  • I AM unique
  • I AM magnetic
  • I AM sexy
  • I own who I AM
  • I love who I AM

“A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.”   ~ Vivica Fox