Tag Archives: self-love

My Exciting News!

Great Things Coming!

Hello all you wonderful readers! You may have noticed I have been absent for a while in the blogging world. It has been for all very good reasons! In the coming weeks, I am planning to shake up my entire site so I can give you, my most loyal friends, more ways to encourage and inspire you to take control of your life and truly love yourselves. So stay tuned to see what I have planned. I promise you, you’ll love the changes!

and now some exciting news…

Cover and Article in Eydis Magazine!

I am so thrilled to be interviewed and featured on the cover of Eydis Magazine! I decided to share my story of how I overcame my childhood history of sexual abuse and learned to love myself.  I hope my story inspires readers to find their own turning point to find self-love.

I urge you to read it and share it below!

“Talk to Tamara” Relationship Advice Column in Eydis Magazine!

I was also approached to write a monthly relationship  advice column in Eydis Magazine where I will be answering readers’ questions on love and relationships. This is perfectly in line with my desire to help others find everlasting love!

Read my very first answer to one reader’s question: “Should I stay, or do i go?”

Do you have questions on love you would like answered? Email me your burning questions on love, dating and relationships at tamaragreen4u@gmail.com and I will be sure to address them in future issues! 

Shopping For ‘The One’

I love featuring guest bloggers, so please enjoy this one about the ups and downs of being a single woman in Boston while searching for ‘the One.’

Shopping For ‘The One’

SamanthaDarcyMore than two years ago, while in a failing eight year relationship and swimming in debt, I couldn’t imagine how anyone would be able to go it alone in a world where anything of high quality came with an even higher price tag. As I wasted months delaying the inevitable and dreading the decision to part from my high school sweetheart, I knew I had to take control of my life’s desires. Without a warning about life in a one-woman show, this 25-year-old first time single female set out in search of ‘the One.’

During that time, life came with its fair share of struggles as I turned to family, friends, counselors, spiritual advisers, and even a psychic for answers to my burning questions. I laughed and cried, almost loved and lost, obsessed, gave up, then danced and sang through the pain. Despite each fall, I got back on the horse, learning more about myself in the process.

For some, finding the right ‘One’ is easy. It comes wrapped with a pretty little bow and life goes on. Wanting to, but refusing to look back and harp on my unluckiness in love, I made it a goal to strive for ‘anything but dull’ and to become someone that I would admire.

I am an interior designer at Boston’s most prestigious architecture firm, designing multi-million dollar corporate interiors. In my free time, I also volunteer my graphic design services, creating anything from logos and business cards to wedding invitations and baby announcements. I have a fantastic family and a dynamite group of Zumba-loving friends, a new two door coupe, my own apartment in the city, and an active full life.

The minute my relationship ended, I surrounded myself with family and friends, and decided to explore the city that I didn’t know, despite living in it for six years. I met new people through new hobbies, began working out, volunteering, and took up writing. I have more hobbies than I can count, am rarely bored, and hardly ever turn down plans, especially after realizing how much of life is measured in experiences.

Somewhere in between, I find time to window-shop for boys.

Filtering through attractiveness, age, height, education, and zodiac sign (just to name a few) the idea of online dating was an exciting thought in the beginning. “Bald and short men need not apply!”

Fast-forward two years, when the bald ones become my favorite and the height requirement came down a few inches. It was becoming crystal clear to me why dating is a bouquet of smoke and mirrors. With over 30 first dates under my belt and an average of weeding through 7-10 duds to find a match, I had been left to wonder, Why I am the exception? On the path to bettering myself, meeting many people along the way, I raised my standards. Rushing to find someone became second to finding my equal. True chemistry proved rare, but essential. Finding the right person at the right time surfaced as another seemingly impossible necessity.

I had wanted the process of finding ‘the One’ to feel like Christmas morning instead of wondering if I should get a gift receipt. It’s been a journey of emotional ups and downs on what feels like an endless ride on a roller coaster. Each time I get to know someone new, it’s filled with mystery, questions, uncertainty, anxiety, and self-consciousness. At times, I’ve debated signing up for a match-making television show, knowing full well I am not built for TV. Other times, I’ve joked about a billboard-sized single’s ad with a ‘1-800-‘ number.

I’ve been someone’s rebound, someone’s one-that-got-away, someone’s future nothing, someone’s fun night, someone’s right now, someone’s foreign love affair, someone’s lover turned friend, and painfully enough, someone’s “maybe someday.” Each time, I try to remember that I am putting a mark on their lives as they are putting theirs on mine.

People come into your life for many reasons. Some come long enough to teach you something and then disappear, while others come in as a little boost to make me realize, I’ve still got it!

While in search, I try to remind myself, this is my life for now, but it can change in an instant with everything before it a distant memory.

Like anyone else, I have good and bad days and can feel completely alone, even in a room filled with my favorite people. There are some days where no amount of tears, friends, fro-yo, or ‘tattling on your ex to his mother’ can take away the pain of a broken heart. Eventually, time heals most wounds and I realize that I wouldn’t be half the person I am without each failure, success, new experience, interest, and character.

Still to this day, I am learning how to let go, to love, and to be patient. I just have to keep moving forward, until I find what works.

With all my dating, relationships, loves and losses, I have to believe that anything worth anything is worth the work and worth the wait.

Samantha Darcy is an interior designer living in Boston, Massachusetts. She started writing in 2013 at the end of a nearly 8-year relationship with her high school sweetheart. After an outpouring of encouragement to write about her experiences, she started compiling stories of life, love, loss, and dating on her journey to find ‘the One.’ You can read more blogs from Samantha at FindMyHand.wordpress.com.

 

2 Exciting Announcements!

I am limitless 1200x628

The other day I posted the affirmation, “I am limitless!” I used to focus on my limits, however, with my spiritual practice of gratitude, meditation and body yoga, I’ve become the limitlessness that I once dreamed of. I would like you to experience this, too. Therefore, please join me for one or both of my deeply healing, fun and informative courses in my hometown, Scarsdale, NY. Looking forward to seeing you there.

Discover the Emotional Healing Powers of Meditation

Stress and tension can result in fear, playing havoc with your relationships, career and even finances.  On the physical level, negative emotions contribute to injuries and illnesses.  Such emotions can also cause you to be tormented by false perceptions about the choices you have made and other issues.  See how stress, worry, and anxiety can dissipate when you clear your mind of these disturbances and connect to your inner child and forgiveness.

Three Wednesdays, starting 9/16 (no class 9/23, 10/7) • 7–9pm • Scarsdale High School • Course – $90 • Register now

Transform Your Life Using The Sacred Flames: A Self-Healing Workshop

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and feed him for a lifetime. This well-known proverb sets the tone for this course. Understanding, embodying and invoking the 7 Sacred Flames teaches you how to fish, so to speak, because it unlocks any barriers to a life filled with ease, joy and harmony.  In this course, students will experience how easy it is to master the 7 main love-energies that will cure any problem. You will also learn the Universal Laws, which are rooted in Divine Love. These Laws are important because without them your life becomes chaotic and out of control. When you obey these Laws, you become karma-free, experiencing more peace and serenity. To deepen your healing experience in this class, Tamara has created 7 beautiful guided meditations that correspond to each Flame. All students of this course will receive free chapters of Tamara’s book, Transform Your Life Using The 7 Sacred Flames, Daily Guided Meditations.

Three Thursdays, starting 10/22 • 7-9pm • Scarsdale High School • Course  – $90 • Register now

TAMARA GREEN, LCSW is a psychotherapist, relationship expert, energy healer, past-life regression hypnotherapist and meditation facilitator.

 

My Exciting Announcement: Evolving Leaders Radio Show!!

evolving leaders

I love how the Universe has my back. Several months ago, I was getting strong communication in my morning meditations about starting a radio show, so that my messages of love could reach more people. As a response, I said, “OK Universe, I hear you, and may this come to me with ease.” Well, it came to me so quickly and with so much ease, I am awestruck.

I belong to an amazing international and spiritually based networking group called Evolutionary Business Council (EBC). These are visionary influencers from around the world that are causing global change for the better. The Founder of EBC reached out to me and asked if I would consider being a host on a brand new radio show sponsored by EBC. Boom! The Universe provided almost instantly. Of course, I gave her, the Founder, a resounding “Yes!”

With four hosts and two guests on each episode, we provide a show that is unique from all others. Evolving Leaders is like The View on TV with a spiritual twist – all while having a ton of fun in the process.

Welcome to Evolving Leaders, the weekly show that takes your dreams and passions from unmanageable to achievable, inspiring you to transform your ideas into reality. Every week, the hosts, all experts in their own field (communication, mindset, business and relationships), bring together visionary influencers from around the world to help you become extraordinary in your business and personal life, and to expand global change. Join us every week and you, too, can set the world on fire.

Please follow us on Twitter @EvolvingLeaders for updates and audio links to all of our shows. You can listen in on the first one by going here.

7 Sacred Flames: How To Be Lucky In Love

bigstock-Couple-walking-on-beach-Young-40788364
I feel like I am one of the luckiest women on this planet. Why? Because I am more in love with my husband than the day we were married 21 years ago. Therefore, I feel lucky in love. Did I always feel that way? Absolutely not. I didn’t get married until I was 36, so I certainly had my share of the dating doldrums, and, I’ll admit it, some pity parties.
So what made me go from dating doldrums to being lucky in love? I’m going to share with you how calling in the Flame Of Cosmic Love turned that around for me.
In my upcoming book 7 Sacred Flames to Transform Your Life: Your Roadmap To Anything You Desire, I briefly describe one of the Universal Laws, the Law of Action: “What materializes in your physical world is a result of your actions. If your actions and behaviors stem from fear, what materializes may disappoint you. If your actions and behaviors stem from love, what materializes may astound you.”
Thank goodness that I eventually recognized that my pity parties (action stemming from fear) were not doing me any good. So I decided to take this Law of Action (an attribute of the Love Flame) and put it into, well, action – a daily practice of gratitude.
Being in the energy of gratitude is one of the fastest ways to get to what you want. To give you a visual, it’s like a gate that opens, giving you complete access to what you desire. Staying in gratitude can sometimes be a challenge. However, calling in the Flame of Cosmic Love is the same as opening up that “gratitude” gate on a daily basis.
This is the Cosmic Love Flame Prayer that I recite at least twice a day: Blaze through me thy radiant Love Rays. Let me be an anchor of love for all. Simple and effective, these two short phrases easily fill me with gratitude and love.
Calling in the Love Flame led me to my soulmate and keeps our love growing stronger everyday. You, too, can call in this Flame and feel lucky in love.
Find out more about my ebook, 7 Sacred Flames to Transform Your Life: Your Daily Roadmap To Anything You Desire in this link!

7 Sacred Flames: Independence From A Life Filled With Struggle

sparklerI used to bumble around in my life, trying to figure things out on my own and wondered why I was a big hot mess. Experiencing one huge struggle after the next, I spent most days feeling out of control. I was deeply influenced by others’ opinions of me. So eager to please, I accepted crumbs from all of my relationships. I hated myself and kept turning to others to give me the love that I wasn’t even willing to give myself.

Today is 4th of July, a U.S. holiday that represents independence. In those days, however, I felt anything but independent or free. In fact, I was in my own jail. Very dependent on others for constant direction and support, my core foundation was weak and easily crumbled at any harsh judgment or unkind word. I believed that my happiness was in the hands of others. It didn’t take much for me to be taken off course by the people and events around me. I even considered suicide, hoping to end the tortuous struggle that was my life.

Then, I found a book that saved my sanity and my life called Lazaris, The Sacred Journey: You And Your Higher Self, published in 1987. This book launched me into self-discovery. There was a particular section in the book that I read over and over. It talked about how we are never alone and that there is a Source energy that is nothing but Love. Because I spent much of my life feeling lonely, reading this was a huge comfort. By invoking this Source-Love energy, I eventually came to realize that life is not just about having things and surviving; it is about having a profound relationship with me and my Highest Self, which in turn, keeps me tuned in to Source.

My personal exploration led me to a daily practice of calling in the Love energies (also known as the 7 Sacred Flames), which completely transformed my life. As a result, I fell in love with me. Once I declared authentic love for myself, it wasn’t long before I met and married my soul mate and had 2 wonderful children. Today, I am also blessed with health and vitality and have a dream career. Now, everyday is Independence Day, filled with freedom and joy.

As a psychotherapist and relationship expert, I have certainly seen my share of people craving freedom from their struggles. Therefore, wanting you to be independent from constant fear, confusion and upset, I created an eBook packed with valuable information about the very same Source-Love energies that lifted me out of my own struggles.

Introducing

7 Sacred Flames To Transform Your Life: Your Daily Roadmap To Anything You Desire

This eBook will launch July 15th, but you can have it FREE by registering your email in this link

You, too, will make everyday Independence Day! Now, that’s worth celebrating!!

Stay tuned for next week’s blog where I share more exciting information about how the Flames will help you become ‘Lucky In Love’.

 

4 Self-Nurturing Habits That Help Conquer Relationship Agony

rowingDuring my undergraduate years at University of Southern California (USC), I rowed starboard for Women’s Varsity Crew. I loved the sport, even though the physical pain during races were almost unbearable. Sophie Pendrill, one of the Lightweight 8 U.S. National Champions, was reported as saying in The Scarsdale Inquirer (my local newspaper), “I was in so much pain. It’s very hard to explain the amount of pain I was in, but it was happy pain because we wanted to win by so much, and we did!” Sophie and I understand that if you want something bad enough, not only are you going to go through pain to get it, but it’s also worth it in the end.

Like rowing in a regatta, relationships can certainly cause tremendous pain, even agony. However, relationships are so worth it, right? What would life be without them? Nothing. Therefore, I’ve devoted my career to attracting, nurturing and preserving loving and healthy relationships. Would you like to find out how to have less pain and stress in your relationship? Then keep reading…

I was fortunate to be interviewed on the Making Dads Fertility Telesummit last week by Kristen Darcy. If you want great tips on how to get through stressful times in your relationship, then I strongly recommend that you listen to this very fun and upbeat hour on Google Hangout. It is filled with tools to get you through relationship stress during challenging times. You’re probably saying to yourself, “Did she just say that it was a ‘fun and upbeat hour’ about stress in relationships? What’s fun and upbeat about that?” Well, you have to watch the video to see how to stop taking all that ‘serious’ stuff so seriously. In doing so, your relationship will reap the benefits. Here’s an overview of what Kristen and I discussed during the interview:

4 Self-Nurturing Habits For Happy Relationships

  • Mindfulness: Be mindful of your thought patterns. What are you telling yourself about your situation? When you feel into that, does it feel bad or good? If it feels bad, then you are operating from judgment and fear. If it feels good, then you are operating from awareness and love. To keep you functioning in awareness, then ask yourself, “What unawareness am I using to create the ___(pain/agony/hopelessness…)___ that I’m choosing.” Don’t answer this or you’ll fall back into judgment. Instead, just ask and notice how much lighter you feel.
  • Calm your mind and receive. A relationship problem is a receiving problem. An unsettled mind is the equivalent to being un-receiving (which means you’re in judgment and fear). When you’re not receiving, you are blocking all the good stuff that’s trying to come your way. A meditation practice is a great way to receive loving energy on a regular basis. Join the Miracle Mondays Meditation community for free weekly guided meditation audios.
  • Take care of your inner child. Due to your relationship challenges, are you beating yourself up or feeling like a failure? Then, your inner child is suffering big time. And, if your inner child is suffering, then you’re causing yourself and your relationship unnecessary misery. Can you imagine if you were walking down the street and saw a terrified child being yelled at by their parent? Essentially, that’s what you’re doing to your own inner child. It’s time to change that damaging pattern to one of care, love and nurturance. Start today with a practice of complementing yourself, even for the tiniest things. For example, complement yourself for getting up and out of bed this morning. Don’t stop there; keep complementing, until you feel lighter and better.
  • Write a fan letter to you. Be your own avid fan by being in the practice of writing wonderful letters to yourself. For example, list all the reasons why you are a good person, how caring you are, and how proud you are of your accomplishments. Doing so will keep you feeling very good about yourself. When you feel good about you, then your relationship challenges will most likely dissolve.

Practice these self-nurturing tips to become the champion in your relationships – that is, the relationship with your partner AND WITH YOURSELF.

If you’d like to watch my entire interview on Restoring Intimacy and Healing from the Making Dads Fertility Summit  last week, you can watch it here! Thanks to Kristen Darcy for having me!

 

7 Powerful Steps To Pull In Mind-Blowing Love

sunset-hairSingle women make finding love very difficult. But, what if it’s as simple as pulling in love? Before I teach you how to do that, let’s first start with an assignment: Grab a piece of paper and write down 3 points of view that you have about love. Don’t write down what you’d like to experience, but rather, what you actually tell yourself about love, men, dating or relationships. Here’s a list of statements I’ve heard plenty of times in my practice over the years. Do you have the same or similar beliefs?

  • There are no great single men. They are either married or gay.
  • I attract men that treat me like dirt.
  • Men can’t commit.
  • I’m too independent for a relationship.
  • No man wants to date a single mother.
  • I’m not dating material because I’m too ___(old, young, fat, thin, poor, rich, etc.)___.

Are these statements hard cold facts? NO! They are just interesting points of view. There’s nothing true about them. You may be believing them and therefore experiencing them, but they certainly don’t have to be true for you.

If your friend said, “There are not enough good men in this world,” can you please see it as a very interesting point of view? In other words, every time you hear information about men, dating, relationships and love, instead of aligning with it, just see it for what it is, an interesting point of view. If you do align with such conclusions, I guarantee that you will experience what you don’t want. Hmmmm… Is that working for?

Ready to hear about an effective process that will help you to release your destructive points of view about love? It means to activate the power of you, which is not overwhelming or controlling another person nor about placing controls on your own life. The ‘power of you’ is about allowing yourself to be all of you without conclusions, points of views and any other limiting thoughts or behaviors. Your power is about you pulling in love by using the unlimited supply of energy that is available 24/7. You have more than enough energy from the Universe to do anything and everything you desire in your life, so let’s do that now and pull in the love that you’ve been dreaming of.

The world functions on energy. The world pays in energy.  Everyone gives and receives as energy. You have an abundance of energy. – Tamara Green

7 Powerful Steps To Pull In Mind-blowing Love

  1. Relax your eyes and pull in love energy toward you. There is an endless supply of energy from the Universe. Just like turning on a light switch, what you’re doing here is simply asking the Universe to turn on the flow of love energy… then feel it coming over and through you like a gentle breeze. Feel the love energy flow to the front of your body; face, torso, legs and arms. Notice that there is plenty of energy available to you when you pull it in.
  2. Pull in love energy to the back of your body; head, back, legs and arms. The Universe loves gifting you with tons of love energy.
  3. Pull in energy to the right side of your body; face, shoulder, arm and leg. Allow this love energy in.
  4. Pull in energy to your left side of your body; face, shoulder, arm and leg. Your job is to receive this love energy. Do not block it with your doubts of whether this is working or not.
  5. Pull in energy up through the bottom of your feet. Have the energy rise up through your legs, torso and head. This is Mother Earth’s energy. Let her loving and healing energy come right in.
  6. Pull energy down from the heavens onto your crown chakra. Have the energy flow down your head, torso, legs and feet. Take in all of this beautiful energy.
  7. Now, feel the energy swirl all around you, through you, from the front through to the back, from the back through to the front, from the right to left, from the left to right. From down below to up above and from up above to down below. You have all of this wonderful love energy at your disposal, to do as you wish. What do you wish to do with all this amazing, healing, expanded and loving energy? How about pull in your beloved? He’s waiting for you to pull him in.

 Tip: Do this process everyday and trust that he will come. Don’t worry about when, where, who or how he’ll show up, but that he’ll show up. For an even more transformative experience, Tamara has created an audio of this process in her 21 Days To Self-Love Meditation Experience bundle. Not only will you attract the man of your dreams, but you’ll fall madly in love with yourself in the process.

Testimonials To 21 Days To Self-Love Meditation Experience

I did the entire 21 days of meditations and actually released bitterness toward my ex and my mother. I feel free for the first time in many years. I am going to do the 21 days again and see what I release this go around. How can I ever thank you for what you’ve done for me? You are a gift Tamara. Love, PJ from California

 Hi Tamara, Thank you for the opportunity for the meditation series and for being so open and kind to share with all of us your spiritual guidance. It has been a wonderful journey each and every day especially with the guided meditations.  You are so appreciated. Love, DR from New York

Tamara, I so value and respect your healing work. The 21 Days To Self-Love Meditation Experience has changed my life in ways I never could’ve imagined. I now believe that not only do I deserve a loving relationship but that I’ll have one. Thank you so much (and keep it coming!), SC from Canada

Not only are the meditations amazing and transforming, but the music takes my soul to a place of bliss and joy. I am now excited to wake up every morning and create my new future. What a blessing you are! From the bottom of my heart, thank you! TN from United Kingdom

 

Too Independent For A Relationship? 4 Steps to Have it All

runnerAs a Love and Relationship Expert, I am often asked the question, “Tamara, am I too independent to have a long term relationship?” I have been asked this question a number of times throughout the years especially by single women who are well established in their careers and lifestyles. I tell my clients that we first have to get to the underlying fear of being “too independent.”
For example, read this dialogue I had with my client, Joanie:

Tamara: “What don’t you want to happen?”
Joanie: “To lose touch with my friends and family once I get into a relationship, not to mention my precious “me” time. And, I don’t want to give up my training for marathons. But, I also don’t want to die a lonely and loveless woman.”
Tamara: “Is it fair to say that you have a conflict?”
Joanie: “Yes, I guess I do. I don’t believe that I can have both.”
Tamara: “Okay, now what do you want?”
Joanie: “To have both, but I’m afraid that a guy won’t support me in doing these things.”
Tamara: “Interesting belief. Do you know that you actually can have both, as long as you believe that it’s possible?”
Joanie: “How?”
Tamara: “Feel what it feels like to have it now. Actually be in the energy of a woman in love with a man who completely supports her passions.”

I went on to explain to Joanie that placing her attention and focus on what she wants, versus what she fears, is key. It feels good to be focused on what you desire. I gave her the homework assignment of spending the next 48 hours BEING a woman in a great relationship with a man who not only supported her passions, but admired her for them. Joanie decided to go for it, even though she never had evidence of this kind of relationship before in her life. Well, after 48 hours of BEING this woman, she was feeling so good from this exercise that she assigned herself another five days.

Within one week, she met Gene at a networking event, who happened to be a marathon runner. Today, Joanie and Gene are in an exclusive relationship, both enjoying their time together – and apart.

See what happens when you focus on what you truly desire? Magic happens.

4 Steps to Have it All:

  1. Ask yourself what you don’t want.
  2. Get to the opposite of that by asking yourself what you do want.
  3. Feel what it feels like to already have what you want. Be in the energy of having it now.
  4. Be in the state of allowance for having what you desire to come into your life. (note: Have no attachment to a result or outcome of how this shows up, when it happens, who it’s with or under what circumstances. Leave these details to the Universe.)

How To Heal Your Relationships That Cause You Pain

girl in forestSome years ago, I had a difficult relationship with someone.

Whenever I was on the phone or visiting this person, she always found something to criticize about me and about my life. It got to the point that when I knew I was going to see or talk to her, I would get anxious and angry, even weeks in advance. The more I started working on my issues, however, the more I realized that she was a reflection of me in terms of what I didn’t like about myself.

She was unconsciously expressing these things right back to me. She was simply a mirror to my lack of loving myself. Whenever you are looking for someone to give you the love that you are not willing to give to yourself, you create need. I certainly thought I needed her validation – which was an unfair expectation.

So, I asked the Universe to help me shift my perspective and to love myself and her all at the same time. When I woke up the next morning – I envisioned a technique of healing this relationship.

The truth is, you are whole and complete within yourself now. Whenyou authentically love yourself, you begin to attract the type ofrelationships you yearn for, which is based in oneness rather than need. When you operate from this loving Self, you are able to honor other’s perspectives, without arguing about their “wrong” viewpoint or being attached to your “right” viewpoint. Different perspectives are just that – different – not wrong nor right.

And BTW, the result of the Healing Your Relationship visualization I did with this person so many years ago was downright miraculous. Because I stayed focused on loving myself, not needing or expecting from her and then visualizing what I wanted to experience, that next visit with her was fantastic!

She, without even being conscious of it, was mirroring the love and respect that I was feeling for myself. It was a wonderful visit filled with smiles and hugs.

Tamara’s Tips:
1. See what your relationships are reflecting back to you. It takes courage but it’s so worth it.
2. Stop the “I’m right” and “You are wrong” game and be open to other people’s point of view.
3. Keep focusing on what you want in your relationship vs what you don’t want or fear. What you focus on is what you continue to experience.