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Getting On Santa’s ‘Naughty List’ With The Art Of Sexy Holiday Flirting

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The Holidays are a perfect time for sexy flirting. Whether single or partnered, you can have fun getting on Santa’s ‘naughty’ list by performing the very effective art of sexy flirting.

Men love flirty gestures. They feel admired and get the validation they need to approach you. Don’t think that flirting is just for the singles, though. It adds so much excitement and pleasure for partners, as well. It’s easy for couples to get into a rut and forget the fun and spicy side of their relationship, especially when trying to raise a family and hold down challenging careers. Flirting, smiling, being daring and trying something new releases some wonderful ‘happy hormones’ and can have some very positive and amazing results, so don’t hold back.

Flirting, however, takes guts and confidence. It means you have to be light-hearted and open to fun and new experiences. Therefore, you may get nervous because you are stepping out of your routine and comfort zone. That’s OK, just take a few deep breaths and do it anyway. Trust me, your efforts will be well worth it.

For a quick and easy boost to your confidence, especially if you are painfully shy, check out my very active and fun guided meditation called Sexy Irresistible YOU, which is currently 50% off during our holiday special. Doing so will activate the powerful and magnificent sexy YOU!

Here are some hot flirting tips to ramp up your sex appeal – Ooh La La!!

Tamara’s Hot Flirty Holiday Tips For Singles:
  • At a gathering, smile at a guy that’s caught your eye from across the room, look away then smile at him again. He’ll keep his eyes glued onto you, for sure! Keep it up until he walks over to you.
  • Men are visual and love the adventure of surprise, so write a question on a cocktail napkin and slide it across the table or bar right to him. Make sure you’re smiling while doing this. Extra brownie points for making the gutsy move of winking, as well. What you write could be as simple as, “Nice shirt you’re wearing!”
  • This one definitely takes guts, but it’s very effective. Let your admiration show by using your eyes to take-in every inch of that hunk you’d like to meet from across the room. Start with their feet moving up very slowly and deliberately until you reach their eyes, at which point you smile, nod your head in approval, and give him a ‘thumbs up.’ Let him know that you like what you see. Then, count the seconds it takes for him to introduce himself to you.
  • Can’t go quite that bold, yet? Try this one then. Wherever you’re sitting, cross your legs and make sure the foot of your leg on top is pointed in the direction of that man you’re interested in meeting. Bob your foot up and down while looking in his direction. Let him know that you are “pointing” at him.
  • Spice things up and wear red. There are many shades of red, so pick one that’s perfect for your skin tone. Again, men are visual. Studies show that men find women who wear red as very attractive. Also, show a little skin with a scooped or ‘V’ neckline. Wear a dress and show your legs. Come on! It’s the Holidays, so wear something festive and slightly revealing! Don’t go too far, though. Stay away from the slutty look, unless you’re only interested in a one-night hookup.
Tamara’s Hot Flirty Holiday Tips For Couples:
  • During holiday parties, show up separately and pretend you don’t know each other. Then, pick each other up. Have fun using pick-up lines like, “Have we met before?” or “What’s your sign?”
  • Imagine your partner as your favorite dessert. While licking your lips, say to him something like, “Later, I’m going to devour you like my favorite Tiramisu!” Scrumptious!
  • At a family gathering or office party, get the juices flowing by telling your partner that you bought him a “surprise” or “naughty” gift that has to be opened in private…”later”. Wink, wink 😉
  • Tell your handsome hunk how delicious he looks, how sexy he is and how he turns you on. More winking!
  • Be alluring by playing with your hair or jewelry while listening intently to your guy.
  • Get an App for couples. Go ahead and Google “Apps for lovers” and see what’s out there for sexy and fun messaging with your special someone.
  • Ask questions you don’t normally ask, such as, “What’s your wildest fantasy? I’d like to help you fulfill it.”
  • Get ‘in the mood’ by giving a foot rub to your partner. This lowers the energy out of that stinkin’ thinkin’ head (the upper one). At the same time, tell him how much he turns you on or what you plan to do to him after the foot rub. Anticipation is a great way to get the energy flowing in the ‘right’ places.

This holiday, be sugar and spice and everything nice. Practice the art of sexy flirting to make sure you make Santa’s ‘Naughty List’ and have fun while doing it!!

 

 

 

How A Young Man’s Brush With Death Reminded Me Of My Dreams For Peace

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As we all know, so much has happened this past week. Around the globe, terrorists were doing what they do – terrorize, destroy, hurt and kill. As I posted on Facebook, my family and I met a very nice couple (photographers) in Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts. Unfortunately, their son was in the concert hall in Paris and was shot in the chest by one of the terrorists. He was in a coma for several days, however, the surgery was successful and he is just now beginning to recognize his family members and is even smiling and laughing with them. He is a lucky young man and we all sigh a huge sigh of relief that he’s on the mend.

The Photographers

My husband and I know this couple through their photographs. Starting at 4:00 AM, 365 days per year, they run the paper route delivering newspapers to many stores around the island of Martha’s Vineyard, Mass. Needless to say, they’ve seen some absolutely gorgeous sunrises and began photographing and emailing them to their friends. Well, those friends forwarded the photos to their friends, who forwarded them to their friends, and on and on it went. This began a ripple effect of their photos going out to thousands of lucky recipients, like myself, around the world. Their ability to capture stunning nature scenes wrapped in sunrise colors is brilliant and awe inspiring.

So taken by their photos, one day last May I reached out and asked if we could meet. They happily agreed. One sunny morning in Chappaquiddick (a small island off of Martha’s Vineyard) this past August, we met and spent a lovely day on the beach getting to know one another. We had so much fun that we all agreed that we would meet again next summer – a beautiful beginning to an annual tradition.  Learning about their son being shot was such a shock, especially after hearing all about him that day on the beach.

To see their talent for yourself, visit their Facebook page and check out their 2016 calendar. I have mine and it’s spectacular: 2016 VineyardColors Calendar

My Dream

I dream of a world filled with peace, where everyone gets along and appreciates one another. We don’t just tolerate but delight in each other’s differences.

I have more than just dreamed this – I have actually seen it. A number of times while deep in meditation, I have been shown a vision of a peaceful world. Like Shangri La, all humans (and wild animals) live amongst one another, caring for each other in the most deep and loving way. This vision of paradise always fills me with joy and hope for our future.

There is a song that captures this image and I want to share it with you. It’s an Italian song titled, Nell Fantasia, sung by Diva Rose Jang. So, in honor of you, our new friends and their son, fill your hearts with the promise of peace and love and clicking in this video below. Follow along with the lyrics (in English) below and be touched by it’s encouraging words. Enjoy!

 

 

In my fantasy I see a just world

Where everyone lives in peace and honesty

I dream of a place to live that is always free

Like a cloud that floats

Full of humanity in the depths of the soul

 

In my fantasy I see a bright world

Where each night there is less darkness

I dream of souls that are always free

Like the cloud that floats

 

In my fantasy exists a warm wind

That breathes into the city, like a friend

I dream of souls that are always free

Like the cloud that floats

3 Secrets For Martians And Venusians To Have Relationship Bliss

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Blog photo 1172015I saw a great play in New York City last weekend that every couple should see. The play is named after the book that it’s based on, John Gray’s International Best-Seller, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. What a blast!

A one-man show, Peter Story (yes, that’s his real name), shares his relationship… well … story… about he and his wife, Megan. Revealing, funny and so completely right on, Peter captures the differences of how men and women experience life with one another. When Peter described how his wife could multitask (make a great tasting pasta dish, change their child’s diaper, clean up toys and answer the doorbell all while having a full-on and in-depth conversation with her best friend on the phone), while he, on the other hand, was lucky to get the water boiling for the pasta in the same amount of time. As Peter shared his tale of relationship mishaps and misunderstandings, both genders in the audience laughed hysterically and nodded our heads vigorously, totally identifying with what he was communicating.

Not only is this play delightfully funny, it’s also packed with information that couples really need to know about one another. For example, women need to receive caring and understanding while men need to receive trust and acceptance. And, women treasure respect and devotion while men treasure appreciation and admiration. Last, but not least, women crave validation and reassurance while men crave approval and encouragement.

Over the many years of working with couples, it’s clear to me that partners share the same nuptial goals and intentions – a long lasting and loving relationship. However, men and women speak a completely different relationship language. Even brain chemistry is different between the sexes. In terms of the brain, the majority of the blood flow for a woman is in the right region, whereas the majority of the blood flow for a man’s is in the left region. In other words, she’s more focused on sharing and communication while he’s more focused on problem solving and doing.

What then, are the secrets to Martian men and Venusian women cohabitating in relationship bliss? Three main secrets!

Secret #1- Stop taking everything so personally.

The truth is that it’s not about you. Whatever they say is really about them. If you do take it personally, then you may be judging yourself the same thing. If that’s the case, then it’s time to explore some self-help books, therapy and/or a meditation practice. I’ve made it easy for you to begin a life-changing meditation practice. Join the Miracle Mondays Meditation community where you will receive complimentary guided-meditation audios right into your inbox every week!

Secret #2- Stop making everything so serious.

Keep things light. Ask yourself, What am I making so serious, that if I didn’t make it serious, would actually give me peace? Just by asking yourself this question several times in a row, you’ll begin to feel lighter and even laugh about that thing you were taking so serious just seconds before.

Secret #3- Stop focusing on what’s wrong.

Instead, focus on what’s right. Tell your partner what you love about them, not what you don’t like. Happy couples understand the 5-to-1 rule. They focus on or say five wonderful things and only one not-so-wonderful thing per day. Try it! It’s worked wonders in my marriage and I know it’ll work wonders in yours, too!!

Now that you know the secrets to relationship bliss, take your partner out on a date and see the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus play and enjoy each other’s company!!

What You Didn’t Know About Meditation Will Calm You Down Now

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I am busting the myth that all meditations are quiet and serene. Actually, some can be quite active, powerful and releasing. Before jumping in and getting physical, first, tune into what’s upsetting you.

Part 1 – What’s Bothering You?

Is something upsetting you? Then, the meditation below will help calm you right down. Go ahead and find out what that is. Does it have to do with a comment someone made or how you are harshly judging yourself? Maybe it’s about your relationship or lack thereof? Good, you are getting to what’s bothering you.

Now feel it… feel your emotions completely and notice where it lands in your body. When you tune into your body, you can locate it right away. I know you don’t like feeling this, and I promise that you’re going to release it soon during the meditation portion of this blog, but for now, just feel it. Be with it. Don’t judge it as “bad”, but allow yourself to feel this feeling entirely. Good for you, because this is not easy.

Score this feeling. What number (from 1 through 10) are you giving this emotion and physical sensation? Example: If you are feeling something between humiliated and neutral, then give yourself a score of 3, and so on.

1 – Worst ever (Humiliated, Despair and Anxious)

5 – Satisfied (Neutral)

10 – Best ever (Peace, Love and Joy)

Make a mental note of this score and begin the active meditation.

Note: This meditation is even more effective if you are listening to rhythmic music or drumming. To listen to an audio of this meditation with Tamara’s voice and powerful music, you’ll want to check out 21 Days to Self-Love Meditation Experience. The meditation written out below is Day 10 of this program. For the next 48 hours only, this entire transformative meditation program is 50% off!

 Calm Your Upset Now Meditation:

Part 2 – Loosening Up

Take off your shoes (flat shoes are OK but no shoes are best). Stand up, feet shoulder’s distance apart and let your knees go slack. Begin to gently bounce up and down. You can lift your heels off the floor every time you bounce up if you want, or, just keep your heels on the ground—either way is fine.

For a total of at least 3 minutes, bounce up and down, up and down, up and down… get into a good tempo. This gentle bouncing is rhythmic. Whenever I do this meditation, I have the vision that I am a Native Indian riding bareback on a horse that is galloping across the plains.

Let the muscles in your face go slack. Release your jaw. Lower your shoulders and let your arms and hands go, as they are dangling at your sides. Let them flop around as you bounce. Consciously let your back muscles go free. Release your stomach muscles. The main muscles working here are in your legs. Everything else needs to completely relax.

By moving your body up and down, you are creating a flow of energy from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You are also releasing your muscles and causing relaxation, which occurs when your focus is on your body. When you are upset, the focus is on your thoughts, which creates stuck energy somewhere in your body. Negative energy often gets stuck in your joints, so gentle bouncing begins to open up your joints and your chakras that createa a nice flow of energy throughout your body. Tension in your muscles is the result of being upset, so keep moving up and down to release the built-up tension.

If you are feeling some physical pain, exhaling out of your mouth will help ease that pain. Don’t stop bouncing if it’s only minor pain. Where there is pain, there is stuck energy. If you hang in there, the minor pain will cease. If the pain is severe, however, then sit on the floor or in a chair and move your head from side to side instead, as if you are shaking your head “no”. This also relieves tons of stuck energy out of your stinkin’ thinkin’ head.

Keep gently bouncing up and down. Begin to smile. This immediately releases endorphins and frees your brain and body from what it’s holding onto. For one full minute more, keep bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down…

Okay, stop bouncing and shake out your hands and feet as if you are shaking off some mud. Shake your hands, shake your feet. Shake, shake, shake. Now, with your arms at your sides, turn your palms facing forward and feel the energy. You will probably feel a tingling sensation. That’s good. Notice how your entire body has responded to the gentle bouncing. Feel the currents of energy running up and down your body.

Part 3 – Explosive Release

Now that the energy is flowing much more freely throughout your body, get ready for the very active part of this meditation where you will truly release your upset. It’s going to be a total of 5 completely explosive and powerful breaths (always inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth):

  • 1st Explosive Releasing Breath – Breathe in and expand your chest while holding up your arms over your head, high, high, high above your head. Now, blow out your breath while throwing down your arms and hands with total force toward the floor. Let it go! Good! Rest for a second.
  • 2nd Explosive Releasing Breath – When you breathe in, fill up your lungs completely and lift up your hands – all the way up, up, up…now let it go with all your might, release what you have been holding onto, as if you are throwing it all down into the earth. Perfect! Rest for a second.
  • 3rd Explosive Releasing Breath – Again, breathe in sharply, hands up and gather up that negative energy, gather it up, gather it up, gather it up… and throw that negativity down to the floor with all of your might. Release it now! Excellent! Rest for a second.
  • 4th Explosive Releasing Breath – Breathe in all the way, hands up, hands up… gather, gather, gather… and throw it down with 100% of your energy. Let it go!!! Wow, that’s powerful! Rest for a second.
  • 5th Explosive Releasing Breath – Last one, breathe in, in, in… hold it and gather the remains of that negative energy and now throw your hands down with all your might releasing it all.

Good, breathe in a deep calming breath… shake your hands then shake your feet – to shake off the remnants of stress and upset.

Part 4 – Feel The Calm

Sit down and completely relax. Put your hands on your lap with palms up. You did an amazing job. You released a ton of negativity. Feel proud of yourself because you did a great job using your potency to let go of some harmful stuck energy. Feel your energy freely flowing throughout your body.

Remember in the beginning, when I asked you to feel this upset in your body to see where it landed? Do you remember where you felt this stuck energy in your body? What was the score that you gave this feeling before the meditation? Give a new score to how you feel as a result of this meditation.

1 – Worst ever (Humiliated, Despair and Anxious)

5 – Satisfied (Neutral)

10 – Best ever (Peace, Love and Joy)

Did your score higher? Are you feeling better? Most of you will be feeling much better than you did just minutes ago.

Part 5 – Visualize Yourself Feeling Good

Since you freed yourself from some negative energy and opened up some space within your cells, it’s important for you to fill in this newly opened space with what you desire. So, take a moment to visualize yourself feeling cool, calm and at peace for the rest of your week. Go one step further and turn this visualization into a statement or affirmation. For example, I Am the center of my peace, or, I feel good.

Acknowledge yourself for doing a great job!

This powerful meditation is Day 10 of the 21 Days to Self-Love Meditation Experience, a transformative program that helps you reach your love goals, including loving yourself madly. For the next 48 hours, this amazing program is 50% off! Click here to invest in you and in love.

Your 3-Step Dating Strategy To Get Your Guy

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Having trouble getting asked out and making it to the date one, two or three? Then follow the powerful 3-Step Dating Strategy that will get you to date number three and beyond.

The Love Coach’s List Of Do’s and Don’ts for Dating Success:

Strategies prior to your first date:

Your job is to get asked out on the first date, which requires you to be a bit mysterious and not easily available. Follow these simple rules to make him chase after you.

  • No phone calls more than 20 minutes. Let him know that you have something to do or somewhere to go (even if you don’t).
  • Always be upbeat. While on the phone, actually smile and say his name often.
  • Don’t complain about anything. The key is to be light.
  • Flirty talk (not dirty) is great!
  • No epic texting or emails prior to the first date. Use text and emails only for brief notes.
  • Do not pick the place to meet. You can give him options if he’s unfamiliar with the area, but let him choose the place and make the necessary arrangements.
Strategies on your 1st date:

Congratulations, you made it to date number one. Now your job is to get asked out for the second date. Follow these steps to make it to date number three and beyond:

  • Wear a red top or dress. Studies show that men are very attracted to this color, so pick a shade of red that looks good with your skin tone.
  • Look feminine and pretty by wearing jewelry and makeup. Go ahead and let him think that you went out of your way to look nice for him. He’ll appreciate it.
  • The second date should be no longer than 2 hours, which keeps you mysterious and intriguing. Even if you are having a fantastic time, tell him you must go to meet a friend or whatever. Leave him wanting more of you.
  • Keep the conversation very light and fun. Do not talk about your problems or your past relationships. Dating is supposed to be fun, so keep the conversation light.
  • Men are terrified of being rejected, so use validating comments (flirt) to let him know that you’ll say ‘yes’ if he asks you out again. Smile and say, “I’m having fun, __(his name)__.”
  • Don’t pick up the check or even go Dutch, which is emasculating. He must pay for all dates, even if the only thing he can afford is a slice of pizza. (Note: Once you are in a relationship and want to treat him to a home-cooked meal, that’s fine. I even tell women who are married to allow their husbands to pay for all the dates. Men want to please and treat women like a queen, so let them. It’s a turn-on.)
  • Do not have sex on the 1st date!!! A little kiss or hug is fine.
Strategies on your 2nd date:

Good job, you made it to date number two! Here are some great tips to keep him to pursuing you with passion:

  • Keep things light, light, light. Never talk about problems. If he does, just listen, and then change the subject to something lighter. Dating is supposed to be light and fun.
  • I strongly suggest that you date at least 3 men when single and looking for the One. Online dating makes this possible. This way, you’ll keep your options open and you won’t ‘put all your eggs in one basket’ too soon.
  • At some point before the second date is over, slip into the conversation that you are casually dating other men (even if you aren’t). This is a very effective and powerful strategy that works like a charm every time. Your ‘casual dating’ spiel could sound something like this: “I like being honest so I want you to know that I am casually dating other men, however, (lean in, smile and touch his forearm) I can’t imagine having more fun with anyone else.” – or “I haven’t laughed this much in a long time.” You say this and then change the subject. This usually turns on the man’s natural instinct to win and he’ll do anything to have you pick him over any other guy. 
  • Don’t have sex on the 2nd date!!! A lingering kiss is fine.

By now, your guy has asked you out again for date number three and will continue asking you out because you are a catch! He wants to be the lucky one to reel you in for that long-term relationship. The key is to never have sex with any man (intercourse, anal or oral sex) until you have a committed relationship with him. Anything else is fine – of course, only if you are very comfortable. Taking your time with kissing, petting (even heavy petting) is perfectly fine. He can wait. In fact, the more he has to wait, the more he’ll pursue you because he wants to reach the delicious goal of being chosen by you!!

Want to hear more juicy dating strategies? Click here for a powerful complementary 45-minute Guidance Session with Tamara. You’ll get clarity and relief from your love and dating problems.

3 Action Steps Now To Stop The Next Round Of Arguments

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There you go again. You and your partner fell into that awful pattern of yelling, negativity and even threats of leaving the relationship. You both are miserable but can’t quite figure out how to fix this problem. This has been going on for far too long and you are both sick of it, yet perplexed on how to solve this frustrating and endless cycle.

Even though things may have calmed down, you need an action plan now to help prevent the next round of arguments. Your next fight just may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and ends your relationship for good.

As a couple’s counselor for over 27 years, I can say with absolute conviction that this action plan works. I guarantee that if, starting today, you follow this plan to the tee, you will stop this relationship-killing pattern and completely turn things around. Is it an easy plan of action? No. Is it worth it? A resounding yes! But then, our most challenging patterns turn out to be our greatest lessons in life, right?

Take These 3 Action Steps To Prevent The Next Round Of Arguments:

1. Take full responsibility for your part in the argument.

It’s time to get humble, authentic and honest. Leave your victim-type thoughts and words out of this conversation. Victim consciousness includes blaming, judgments, criticisms, complaints and accusations. This step requires you to own up to your part, NOT THEIR PART, only yours. Make a list of your behaviors and words during the argument that you are not proud of. This takes guts but you can do it, especially if you want to stop this crazy pattern that you and your partner are in. Use your list to create your ‘I’m taking responsibility’ statements.

Here’s an example of what you could say to your partner: “Now that things are calm between us, I’d like to take responsibility for my part in our argument. I was blaming you for ___(fill in the blank)___ and that wasn’t helpful or kind. I am sorry for saying what I said. I have decided that I need to work on my habit of blaming. Please forgive me. I don’t want this to ever happen again, so I’m making a commitment to work on changing it.” Extra kudos points if you tell your partner what you are committed to do to make sure you will not do this again: start therapy, take an online course, do a workshop, read a self-help book, take up meditation, etc.

Do you want to start a meditation practice, but don't know how to begin?  You don't have to do it alone! Sign up for my Miracle Monday Meditations to take part in my 21 Week Meditation Challenge. 
Don’t want to wait until a whole week between meditations, visit my shop to purchase the whole 21 Day bundle.
2. Commit to the 90-10% Rule.

Spend 90% of your time and focus looking at your behaviors and emotions versus your partners. Instead of looking at what they need to change, you make a commitment to changing you. Spend 10% of your time focused on the relationship and on your partner. 90% you – 10% your partner. The interesting thing is, the more time you spend loving and honoring you, the more able you are to authentically love your partner. In other words, your partner benefits tremendously when you are taking care of yourself.

By the way, this 90-10% rule also works great in other areas of your life. For example, if you are an entrepreneur, spend 90% of the time working on you and 10% of the time working on your business. The 90-10% is a secret to success and happiness. 

3. Make a daily and forever practice of gratitude.

This one tip has saved marriages on the brink of divorce, so this is yet another powerful part of the action plan. What you focus on is what you experience. So please stop focusing on what you don’t like or want anymore. Be in the practice of telling your partner at least 3 things about them that you are grateful for – every single day. Tell them what you admire, what you love about them and what they do that makes you feel happy and special. That way, you’ll get more of what you love about them and less of what you don’t.

Same goes with you. Everyday, tell yourself at least 3 things of what you love and admire about yourself. In other words, compliment yourself – a lot!

Do you want to start a meditation practice, but don't know how to begin?  You don't have to do it alone! Sign up for my Miracle Monday Meditations to take part in my 21 Week Meditation Challenge. 
Don’t want to wait until a whole week between meditations, visit my shop to purchase the whole 21 Day bundle.

How To Keep Your Phone From Ruining Your Relationships

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 I loved this discussion with John Gray and the other experts on the topical issue of phones and relationships. Watch this video to get informed.

I’ll do the Happy Dance if you share this video with your friends. 

To recap what the experts said:

  1. 90% of communication is non-verbal, so you may be missing those body expressions as clues to what’s really going on in your dating and love life.
  2. More and more, couples are not engaging with each other because they are distracted by their phones. For quality relationships, turn your phone off during meals.
  3. In this hyper world of technology, our brains are over stimulated. The result is shorter attention spans. To counter problematic effects of this, have a practice of getting centered and quieting the mind.
  4. Use your phone to be ‘Love in Action’. Use it as the vehicle to have fun with your partner by sending short, loving and sexy texts. Bigger conversations should always be in person.
Questions for all of you beautiful people (and some honest answers from me):
  • How many hours per day do you spend on your phones?
Me? Probably about 2-4 and even more when I’m doing phone sessions with clients. By 7 PM, I tend to turn it off. ☺
  • Does it come out during mealtime?

I’m guilty of this sometimes. There have been occasions where my kids have asked me to turn it off, and, I’m glad that they spoke up. 

  • Have you ever used your phone to go out or break up with someone?
Me? No, but it seems to be a fairly common practice in the dating world these days. 
  • Do you sext with your partner? 
Me? Absolutely! So much fun!! ????
Go ahead and reply to this email and give me your answers. I promise that I will respond to each of you.

Loving Touch Process: 2 Steps To Assist In Healing

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LovingTouchProcess

You don’t have to be a healing professional to help someone feel much better. If you or someone you know is suffering from illness or an emotional upset, then, you’ll want to read this 2-step guide to the Loving Touch Process. This is for both of you to do together because it’s a giving and receiving process.

When my husband, David, was being treated for cancer, I didn’t realize how important my Loving Touch was until he shared an excerpt from the chapter he wrote in the international bestselling book, Cancer: From Tears To Triumph (link available below).

“I am convinced that my wife’s love and healing energy was a huge factor in my recovery.  When my body was energetically and physically wiped out, she used her empathic skills and sensed what my body needed.  Simply by touching my head or rubbing my back, she infused me with a healing energy that counteracted the effects of the chemo and radiation. Feeling insulted internally and externally by the treatments, her healing touch became the single most important boost to my body.”

Awe! I am so glad that I helped my beloved husband so much. It actually felt very healing for me to be doing this Loving Touch for him. And, it wasn’t me that was doing the healing; I was just the vessel for which the healing energy flowed through.

Today, I will teach you the first step to this very easy Loving Touch Process.

Before we begin, I’d like to share (again) what I wrote in a blog last month: Finding The Gifts In Every Challenge: 3 Rounds Of Ho’oponopono (link available below).

  1. David is now cancer free and healthy as ever.
  2. From the cancer experience, our relationship grew even closer.
  3. We use our unique talents to create healing meditations that we love to pass on to others. In our Loving Meditations audios, I guide you with my words while David’s music takes you into an even deeper and tranquil state. The combination is powerful.

The following meditation is available in audio format, accompanied by David’s transcendent music. For a profoundly deep and healing experience, click onto this link to purchase this 2-meditation bundle: Loving Touch Process (Steps 1 & 2) 

Step 1 – Loving Touch Process: Get Ready For Healing

(Note: I refer to the one giving Loving Touch as the ‘Caregiver’ and the one receiving it as the ‘Loved One’.)

 Caregiver and Loved One:

First, it’s important to protect your physical body from any low vibrational energy. It’s easy to do. Get present by taking 3 deep breaths…

 -Breathe in, filling up your chest… exhale and release the stress and thoughts by having them run down your arms and out your fingertips.

-Inhale, filling up your chest again… exhale and release the stress and thoughts by having them run down your arms and out your fingertips.

-Last deep breath in… this time filling up your lower belly… exhale and release the tension and stress by letting it run down your legs, to your feet and out your toes… Good…

 Second, ask your guides, angels, and even Creative Source to drape a golden robe of protection over your physical body. As soon as you ask, it’s being done. Go ahead and visualize yourself putting on that beautiful robe of protection. As you visualize – so it is. (The robe is glowing and illuminating and feels very relaxing to have it on. It will stay on you for the rest of the day. It’s good to be in the practice of putting on ‘the robe’ because it will help shield other people’s negative energy away from you, keeping you grounded and at peace.)

 Caregiver:

Next, ask your guides, angels and Creative Source to assist your Loved One by blanketing them with love – showering them with a light filled with healing love. You may see a color, or maybe not, just know that it’s being done as soon as you ask. Ask and you shall receive. Take your time… don’t go to the next step until you sense that your Loved One is completely filled with healing love.

 Caregiver and Loved One:

To become even more present and relaxed, relax your eyes and focus on your 65 trillion cells that make up your body. You can actually do this. Just place your awareness on the cells that make up your beautiful body. Good, now, be in the space within your cells within your entire body… Again, be in the space within your cells within your entire body. Now, feel the energy emanate from your body in all directions, including down into mother earth. As if you have your own sun within your heart/chest… the sunrays emanate outside of your body two inches in all directions… now six inches outside your body in all directions… now twelve inches outside your body in all directions… now two feet outside your body in all directions…. Keep going… your energy is filling up the room that you are in…Very good.

 Open your eyes wider and give each other eye contact… Smile… Become very curious about the other… Keep the eye contact… This may be uncomfortable at first, but stay with it, it will get easier the longer you stay with it… Soften your eyes… Smile… Become very appreciative of the other. Look into their eyes and say to yourself, “I appreciate you so much.” Become very interested in the other, in their life and the experiences that they have chosen. Say to yourself, “I am so interested in your life and the choices you’ve made… it’s all very interesting to me.” This is good because you are sending a loving energy to one another. Say to yourself, “I love you so much.” Smile even more… it feels good to share this loving energy with one another.

 I hope you enjoyed Step I of the Loving Touch Process. You did a great job! See how easy it is? Stay tuned for next week’s blog for Step II where you are both guided to receive even more powerful healing energy. Also, to experience this meditation in audio for free, tune in to Miracle Mondays Meditation on September 7th. You will have 24-hour access to this powerful process accompanied by David’s gorgeous music.

Check out the stuff:

Meditation Bundle: Loving Touch Process (Steps I & II) 

For free 24-hour audio access to the Loving Touch Process: Miracle Mondays Meditation.

 Book: Cancer: From Tears To Triumph – An anthology of inspiration from Survivors and Thrivers, Health Care and Support Professionals, Caregivers and Loved Ones.

Blog: Finding The Gifts In Every Challenge: 3 Rounds Of Ho’oponopono

Shopping For ‘The One’

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I love featuring guest bloggers, so please enjoy this one about the ups and downs of being a single woman in Boston while searching for ‘the One.’

Shopping For ‘The One’

SamanthaDarcyMore than two years ago, while in a failing eight year relationship and swimming in debt, I couldn’t imagine how anyone would be able to go it alone in a world where anything of high quality came with an even higher price tag. As I wasted months delaying the inevitable and dreading the decision to part from my high school sweetheart, I knew I had to take control of my life’s desires. Without a warning about life in a one-woman show, this 25-year-old first time single female set out in search of ‘the One.’

During that time, life came with its fair share of struggles as I turned to family, friends, counselors, spiritual advisers, and even a psychic for answers to my burning questions. I laughed and cried, almost loved and lost, obsessed, gave up, then danced and sang through the pain. Despite each fall, I got back on the horse, learning more about myself in the process.

For some, finding the right ‘One’ is easy. It comes wrapped with a pretty little bow and life goes on. Wanting to, but refusing to look back and harp on my unluckiness in love, I made it a goal to strive for ‘anything but dull’ and to become someone that I would admire.

I am an interior designer at Boston’s most prestigious architecture firm, designing multi-million dollar corporate interiors. In my free time, I also volunteer my graphic design services, creating anything from logos and business cards to wedding invitations and baby announcements. I have a fantastic family and a dynamite group of Zumba-loving friends, a new two door coupe, my own apartment in the city, and an active full life.

The minute my relationship ended, I surrounded myself with family and friends, and decided to explore the city that I didn’t know, despite living in it for six years. I met new people through new hobbies, began working out, volunteering, and took up writing. I have more hobbies than I can count, am rarely bored, and hardly ever turn down plans, especially after realizing how much of life is measured in experiences.

Somewhere in between, I find time to window-shop for boys.

Filtering through attractiveness, age, height, education, and zodiac sign (just to name a few) the idea of online dating was an exciting thought in the beginning. “Bald and short men need not apply!”

Fast-forward two years, when the bald ones become my favorite and the height requirement came down a few inches. It was becoming crystal clear to me why dating is a bouquet of smoke and mirrors. With over 30 first dates under my belt and an average of weeding through 7-10 duds to find a match, I had been left to wonder, Why I am the exception? On the path to bettering myself, meeting many people along the way, I raised my standards. Rushing to find someone became second to finding my equal. True chemistry proved rare, but essential. Finding the right person at the right time surfaced as another seemingly impossible necessity.

I had wanted the process of finding ‘the One’ to feel like Christmas morning instead of wondering if I should get a gift receipt. It’s been a journey of emotional ups and downs on what feels like an endless ride on a roller coaster. Each time I get to know someone new, it’s filled with mystery, questions, uncertainty, anxiety, and self-consciousness. At times, I’ve debated signing up for a match-making television show, knowing full well I am not built for TV. Other times, I’ve joked about a billboard-sized single’s ad with a ‘1-800-‘ number.

I’ve been someone’s rebound, someone’s one-that-got-away, someone’s future nothing, someone’s fun night, someone’s right now, someone’s foreign love affair, someone’s lover turned friend, and painfully enough, someone’s “maybe someday.” Each time, I try to remember that I am putting a mark on their lives as they are putting theirs on mine.

People come into your life for many reasons. Some come long enough to teach you something and then disappear, while others come in as a little boost to make me realize, I’ve still got it!

While in search, I try to remind myself, this is my life for now, but it can change in an instant with everything before it a distant memory.

Like anyone else, I have good and bad days and can feel completely alone, even in a room filled with my favorite people. There are some days where no amount of tears, friends, fro-yo, or ‘tattling on your ex to his mother’ can take away the pain of a broken heart. Eventually, time heals most wounds and I realize that I wouldn’t be half the person I am without each failure, success, new experience, interest, and character.

Still to this day, I am learning how to let go, to love, and to be patient. I just have to keep moving forward, until I find what works.

With all my dating, relationships, loves and losses, I have to believe that anything worth anything is worth the work and worth the wait.

Samantha Darcy is an interior designer living in Boston, Massachusetts. She started writing in 2013 at the end of a nearly 8-year relationship with her high school sweetheart. After an outpouring of encouragement to write about her experiences, she started compiling stories of life, love, loss, and dating on her journey to find ‘the One.’ You can read more blogs from Samantha at FindMyHand.wordpress.com.

 

Finding Gifts In Every Challenge: 3 Rounds Of Ho’oponopono

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beach couple

Challenges can be emotionally and even physically painful, not only for you, but also for your loved one who is often right by your side. I know because I was there when my husband, David, was going through his major life challenge – cancer. Together, we experienced the emotional shock of hearing the doctor tell him, “You have stage-4 cancer.” During his chemo, radiation and finally major surgery, he was so uncomfortable that it was sometimes difficult seeing him go through it. His challenge became my challenge, too. Even so, the experience turned into amazing gifts for both of us. Here are three:

  • David is now cancer free and healthy as ever.
  • Our relationship grew even closer.
  • We use our unique talents to create healing meditations that we love to gift to others. In our Loving Meditations audios, I guide you with my words while David’s music takes you into an even deeper and tranquil state. The combination is powerful.

Every challenge has a degree of benefit and your job is to find what those benefits are. To help you do this, I will share with you a meditation using an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness called Ho’oponopono (pronounced Hoe’ oh-poe-no-poe-no).  When done regularly, it can be quite healing.

Everything in your life – your likes, dislikes, passions, health problems, relationship, etc. – you create.  In fact, you create everything your experience. How, then, can you deal with the challenges you create? By using Ho’oponopono to speak directly to Source energy with the following phrases:

“I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.”

When looking at another person (and sometimes yourself) and feeling disgust, anger, judgment, hatred, etc., whatever comes up, just feel it – it’s okay. Then say to yourself (not out loud) – to your connection with Source energy:

“I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.”

Everything you experience in your outer world, you experience in your inner world.  Therefore, the problems and challenges need to be corrected and healed within you by offering them to Source energy – which is the energy of unconditional love.

As you may experience in the 3 rounds of Ho’oponopono, it gives you the power to erase negative beliefs and outcomes.  As you do it for you, you also do it for others… and, consequently, the world.

3 Rounds Of Ho’oponopono:

You’ll get a better understanding of what the phrases mean and how they will release you as we go along. Take three deep breaths to get started. Relax your eyes and lower your shoulders. Say to yourself – to Source energy:

Round 1… Releasing Fear
  • I’m sorry… I’m sorry for being scared… I’m sorry for feeling the way that I do. I’m sorry for believing the illusion of fear… for unconsciously bringing this onto myself… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
  • Please forgive me… for being so blind when I didn’t mean to be. Please forgive me… I know that forgiveness is setting me free, so please forgive me.
  • Thank you… Thank you for helping me. I know that gratitude is a transmuting energy, so thank you… Thank you… I know that fear is only a projection of my mind. Thank you… for bringing me into this moment so that I can release my fear. Thank you.
  • I love you… and I love knowing that everything is love, including me. I love you… the name of Source energy… the name of this experience… I love you.
Round 2… Releasing Self-Hatred
  • I’m sorry… I’m sorry for hating myself… I’m sorry for feeling the way that I do. I’m sorry for making myself wrong… I’m sorry for beating myself up… for unconsciously bringing this onto myself… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
  • Please forgive me… for being so blind and not realizing what I was doing to myself. Please forgive me… I know that forgiveness is setting me free, so please forgive me.
  • Thank you… thank you for this experience… Thank you for helping me. I know that gratitude is a transmuting energy, so thank you… I know that this hatred is only fear projected onto myself. Thank you… for bringing me into this moment so that I can release my self-hatred. Thank you.
  • I love you… and I love knowing that everything is love, including me. I love you… the name of Source energy… the name of this experience… I love you.
Round 2… Releasing Anger
  • I’m sorry… I’m sorry for holding onto anger… I’m sorry for beating myself up for feeling angry… I’m sorry for projecting my anger onto others… I’m sorry for unconsciously bringing this onto myself… This has been eating me up inside… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.
  • Please forgive me… for being so blind and not realizing what this is doing to me. Please forgive me… I know that forgiveness is setting me free, so please forgive me.
  • Thank you… Thank you for this experience… Thank you for helping me. I know that gratitude is a transmuting energy, so thank you… I know that this moment is perfect, just as it is. Thank you… I know that holding onto anger only keeps me tied to my past. I am not a victim, so thank you… for bringing me into this moment so that I can release this anger. Thank you.
  • I love you… and I love knowing that everything is love, including me. I love you… the name of Source energy… the name of this experience… I love you.

You did a great job. This is your inner wisdom at work. Everything you experience in relationships is never between you and someone else. It’s between you and Source energy and it’s between them and Source energy – never between you and them.

Recite the phrases in any order.  Never say it to another person, just to yourself.  Say the Ho’oponopono phrases around the clock:

“I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.”

To have your challenges turn into gifts, have Ho’oponopono constantly playing in the background of your mind. In doing so, your life will be transformed.

Step into the world of pure surrender, forgiveness and bliss by listening to this blog as an audio (24 hour replay available on Monday). To receive this creation by Tamara and David, please make sure you are signed up for Miracle Mondays Meditation.

Sending you off with love…