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Getting On Santa’s ‘Naughty List’ With The Art Of Sexy Holiday Flirting

December 4, 2015 by Tamara Leave a Comment

The Holidays are a perfect time for sexy flirting. Whether single or partnered, you can have fun getting on Santa’s ‘naughty’ list by performing the very effective art of sexy flirting.

Men love flirty gestures. They feel admired and get the validation they need to approach you. Don’t think that flirting is just for the singles, though. It adds so much excitement and pleasure for partners, as well. It’s easy for couples to get into a rut and forget the fun and spicy side of their relationship, especially when trying to raise a family and hold down challenging careers. Flirting, smiling, being daring and trying something new releases some wonderful ‘happy hormones’ and can have some very positive and amazing results, so don’t hold back.

Flirting, however, takes guts and confidence. It means you have to be light-hearted and open to fun and new experiences. Therefore, you may get nervous because you are stepping out of your routine and comfort zone. That’s OK, just take a few deep breaths and do it anyway. Trust me, your efforts will be well worth it.

For a quick and easy boost to your confidence, especially if you are painfully shy, check out my very active and fun guided meditation called Sexy Irresistible YOU, which is currently 50% off during our holiday special. Doing so will activate the powerful and magnificent sexy YOU!

Here are some hot flirting tips to ramp up your sex appeal – Ooh La La!!

Tamara’s Hot Flirty Holiday Tips For Singles:

At a gathering, smile at a guy that’s caught your eye from across the room, look away then smile at him again. He’ll keep his eyes glued onto you, for sure! Keep it up until he walks over to you.

Men are visual and love the adventure of surprise, so write a question on a cocktail napkin and slide it across the table or bar right to him. Make sure you’re smiling while doing this. Extra brownie points for making the gutsy move of winking, as well. What you write could be as simple as, “Nice shirt you’re wearing!”

This one definitely takes guts, but it’s very effective. Let your admiration show by using your eyes to take-in every inch of that hunk you’d like to meet from across the room. Start with their feet moving up very slowly and deliberately until you reach their eyes, at which point you smile, nod your head in approval, and give him a ‘thumbs up.’ Let him know that you like what you see. Then, count the seconds it takes for him to introduce himself to you.

Can’t go quite that bold, yet? Try this one then. Wherever you’re sitting, cross your legs and make sure the foot of your leg on top is pointed in the direction of that man you’re interested in meeting. Bob your foot up and down while looking in his direction. Let him know that you are “pointing” at him.

Spice things up and wear red. There are many shades of red, so pick one that’s perfect for your skin tone. Again, men are visual. Studies show that men find women who wear red as very attractive. Also, show a little skin with a scooped or ‘V’ neckline. Wear a dress and show your legs. Come on! It’s the Holidays, so wear something festive and slightly revealing! Don’t go too far, though. Stay away from the slutty look, unless you’re only interested in a one-night hookup.

Tamara’s Hot Flirty Holiday Tips For Couples:

During holiday parties, show up separately and pretend you don’t know each other. Then, pick each other up. Have fun using pick-up lines like, “Have we met before?” or “What’s your sign?”

Imagine your partner as your favorite dessert. While licking your lips, say to him something like, “Later, I’m going to devour you like my favorite Tiramisu!” Scrumptious!

At a family gathering or office party, get the juices flowing by telling your partner that you bought him a “surprise” or “naughty” gift that has to be opened in private…”later”. Wink, wink 😉

Tell your handsome hunk how delicious he looks, how sexy he is and how he turns you on. More winking!

Be alluring by playing with your hair or jewelry while listening intently to your guy.

Get an App for couples. Go ahead and Google “Apps for lovers” and see what’s out there for sexy and fun messaging with your special someone.

Ask questions you don’t normally ask, such as, “What’s your wildest fantasy? I’d like to help you fulfill it.”

Get ‘in the mood’ by giving a foot rub to your partner. This lowers the energy out of that stinkin’ thinkin’ head (the upper one). At the same time, tell him how much he turns you on or what you plan to do to him after the foot rub. Anticipation is a great way to get the energy flowing in the ‘right’ places.

This holiday, be sugar and spice and everything nice. Practice the art of sexy flirting to make sure you make Santa’s ‘Naughty List’ and have fun while doing it!!

How A Young Man’s Brush With Death Reminded Me Of My Dreams For Peace

November 21, 2015 by Koreen Alvarado Leavitt Leave a Comment

As we all know, so much has happened this past week. Around the globe, terrorists were doing what they do – terrorize, destroy, hurt and kill. As I posted on Facebook, my family and I met a very nice couple (photographers) in Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts. Unfortunately, their son was in the concert hall in Paris and was shot in the chest by one of the terrorists. He was in a coma for several days, however, the surgery was successful and he is just now beginning to recognize his family members and is even smiling and laughing with them. He is a lucky young man and we all sigh a huge sigh of relief that he’s on the mend.

The Photographers

My husband and I know this couple through their photographs. Starting at 4:00 AM, 365 days per year, they run the paper route delivering newspapers to many stores around the island of Martha’s Vineyard, Mass. Needless to say, they’ve seen some absolutely gorgeous sunrises and began photographing and emailing them to their friends. Well, those friends forwarded the photos to their friends, who forwarded them to their friends, and on and on it went. This began a ripple effect of their photos going out to thousands of lucky recipients, like myself, around the world. Their ability to capture stunning nature scenes wrapped in sunrise colors is brilliant and awe inspiring.

So taken by their photos, one day last May I reached out and asked if we could meet. They happily agreed. One sunny morning in Chappaquiddick (a small island off of Martha’s Vineyard) this past August, we met and spent a lovely day on the beach getting to know one another. We had so much fun that we all agreed that we would meet again next summer – a beautiful beginning to an annual tradition. Learning about their son being shot was such a shock, especially after hearing all about him that day on the beach.

To see their talent for yourself, visit their Facebook page and check out their 2016 calendar. I have mine and it’s spectacular: 2016 VineyardColors Calendar

My Dream

I dream of a world filled with peace, where everyone gets along and appreciates one another. We don’t just tolerate but delight in each other’s differences.

I have more than just dreamed this – I have actually seen it. A number of times while deep in meditation, I have been shown a vision of a peaceful world. Like Shangri La, all humans (and wild animals) live amongst one another, caring for each other in the most deep and loving way. This vision of paradise always fills me with joy and hope for our future.

There is a song that captures this image and I want to share it with you. It’s an Italian song titled, Nell Fantasia, sung by Diva Rose Jang. So, in honor of you, our new friends and their son, fill your hearts with the promise of peace and love and clicking in this video below. Follow along with the lyrics (in English) below and be touched by it’s encouraging words. Enjoy!

In my fantasy I see a just world

Where everyone lives in peace and honesty

I dream of a place to live that is always free

Like a cloud that floats

Full of humanity in the depths of the soul

In my fantasy I see a bright world

Where each night there is less darkness

I dream of souls that are always free

Like the cloud that floats

In my fantasy exists a warm wind

That breathes into the city, like a friend

I dream of souls that are always free

Like the cloud that floats

3 Secrets For Martians And Venusians To Have Relationship Bliss

November 5, 2015 by Koreen Alvarado Leavitt Leave a Comment

I saw a great play in New York City last weekend that every couple should see. The play is named after the book that it’s based on, John Gray’s International Best-Seller, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. What a blast!

A one-man show, Peter Story (yes, that’s his real name), shares his relationship… well … story… about he and his wife, Megan. Revealing, funny and so completely right on, Peter captures the differences of how men and women experience life with one another. When Peter described how his wife could multitask (make a great tasting pasta dish, change their child’s diaper, clean up toys and answer the doorbell all while having a full-on and in-depth conversation with her best friend on the phone), while he, on the other hand, was lucky to get the water boiling for the pasta in the same amount of time. As Peter shared his tale of relationship mishaps and misunderstandings, both genders in the audience laughed hysterically and nodded our heads vigorously, totally identifying with what he was communicating.

Not only is this play delightfully funny, it’s also packed with information that couples really need to know about one another. For example, women need to receive caring and understanding while men need to receive trust and acceptance. And, women treasure respect and devotion while men treasure appreciation and admiration. Last, but not least, women crave validation and reassurance while men crave approval and encouragement.

Over the many years of working with couples, it’s clear to me that partners share the same nuptial goals and intentions – a long lasting and loving relationship. However, men and women speak a completely different relationship language. Even brain chemistry is different between the sexes. In terms of the brain, the majority of the blood flow for a woman is in the right region, whereas the majority of the blood flow for a man’s is in the left region. In other words, she’s more focused on sharing and communication while he’s more focused on problem solving and doing.

What then, are the secrets to Martian men and Venusian women cohabitating in relationship bliss? Three main secrets!

Secret #1- Stop taking everything so personally.

The truth is that it’s not about you. Whatever they say is really about them. If you do take it personally, then you may be judging yourself the same thing. If that’s the case, then it’s time to explore some self-help books, therapy and/or a meditation practice. I’ve made it easy for you to begin a life-changing meditation practice. Join the Miracle Mondays Meditation community where you will receive complimentary guided-meditation audios right into your inbox every week!

Secret #2- Stop making everything so serious.

Keep things light. Ask yourself, What am I making so serious, that if I didn’t make it serious, would actually give me peace? Just by asking yourself this question several times in a row, you’ll begin to feel lighter and even laugh about that thing you were taking so serious just seconds before.

Secret #3- Stop focusing on what’s wrong.

Instead, focus on what’s right. Tell your partner what you love about them, not what you don’t like. Happy couples understand the 5-to-1 rule. They focus on or say five wonderful things and only one not-so-wonderful thing per day. Try it! It’s worked wonders in my marriage and I know it’ll work wonders in yours, too!!

Now that you know the secrets to relationship bliss, take your partner out on a date and see the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus play and enjoy each other’s company!!

What You Didn’t Know About Meditation Will Calm You Down Now

November 1, 2015 by Tamara Leave a Comment

I am busting the myth that all meditations are quiet and serene. Actually, some can be quite active, powerful and releasing. Before jumping in and getting physical, first, tune into what’s upsetting you.

Part 1 – What’s Bothering You?

Is something upsetting you? Then, the meditation below will help calm you right down. Go ahead and find out what that is. Does it have to do with a comment someone made or how you are harshly judging yourself? Maybe it’s about your relationship or lack thereof? Good, you are getting to what’s bothering you.

Now feel it… feel your emotions completely and notice where it lands in your body. When you tune into your body, you can locate it right away. I know you don’t like feeling this, and I promise that you’re going to release it soon during the meditation portion of this blog, but for now, just feel it. Be with it. Don’t judge it as “bad”, but allow yourself to feel this feeling entirely. Good for you, because this is not easy.

Score this feeling. What number (from 1 through 10) are you giving this emotion and physical sensation? Example: If you are feeling something between humiliated and neutral, then give yourself a score of 3, and so on.

1 – Worst ever (Humiliated, Despair and Anxious)

5 – Satisfied (Neutral)

10 – Best ever (Peace, Love and Joy)

Make a mental note of this score and begin the active meditation.

Note: This meditation is even more effective if you are listening to rhythmic music or drumming. To listen to an audio of this meditation with Tamara’s voice and powerful music, you’ll want to check out 21 Days to Self-Love Meditation Experience. The meditation written out below is Day 10 of this program. For the next 48 hours only, this entire transformative meditation program is 50% off!

Calm Your Upset Now Meditation:

Part 2 – Loosening Up

Take off your shoes (flat shoes are OK but no shoes are best). Stand up, feet shoulder’s distance apart and let your knees go slack. Begin to gently bounce up and down. You can lift your heels off the floor every time you bounce up if you want, or, just keep your heels on the ground—either way is fine.

For a total of at least 3 minutes, bounce up and down, up and down, up and down… get into a good tempo. This gentle bouncing is rhythmic. Whenever I do this meditation, I have the vision that I am a Native Indian riding bareback on a horse that is galloping across the plains.

Let the muscles in your face go slack. Release your jaw. Lower your shoulders and let your arms and hands go, as they are dangling at your sides. Let them flop around as you bounce. Consciously let your back muscles go free. Release your stomach muscles. The main muscles working here are in your legs. Everything else needs to completely relax.

By moving your body up and down, you are creating a flow of energy from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You are also releasing your muscles and causing relaxation, which occurs when your focus is on your body. When you are upset, the focus is on your thoughts, which creates stuck energy somewhere in your body. Negative energy often gets stuck in your joints, so gentle bouncing begins to open up your joints and your chakras that createa a nice flow of energy throughout your body. Tension in your muscles is the result of being upset, so keep moving up and down to release the built-up tension.

If you are feeling some physical pain, exhaling out of your mouth will help ease that pain. Don’t stop bouncing if it’s only minor pain. Where there is pain, there is stuck energy. If you hang in there, the minor pain will cease. If the pain is severe, however, then sit on the floor or in a chair and move your head from side to side instead, as if you are shaking your head “no”. This also relieves tons of stuck energy out of your stinkin’ thinkin’ head.

Keep gently bouncing up and down. Begin to smile. This immediately releases endorphins and frees your brain and body from what it’s holding onto. For one full minute more, keep bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down…

Okay, stop bouncing and shake out your hands and feet as if you are shaking off some mud. Shake your hands, shake your feet. Shake, shake, shake. Now, with your arms at your sides, turn your palms facing forward and feel the energy. You will probably feel a tingling sensation. That’s good. Notice how your entire body has responded to the gentle bouncing. Feel the currents of energy running up and down your body.

Part 3 – Explosive Release

Now that the energy is flowing much more freely throughout your body, get ready for the very active part of this meditation where you will truly release your upset. It’s going to be a total of 5 completely explosive and powerful breaths (always inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth):

1^st Explosive Releasing Breath – Breathe in and expand your chest while holding up your arms over your head, high, high, high above your head. Now, blow out your breath while throwing down your arms and hands with total force toward the floor. Let it go! Good! Rest for a second.
2^nd Explosive Releasing Breath – When you breathe in, fill up your lungs completely and lift up your hands – all the way up, up, up…now let it go with all your might, release what you have been holding onto, as if you are throwing it all down into the earth. Perfect! Rest for a second.
3^rd Explosive Releasing Breath – Again, breathe in sharply, hands up and gather up that negative energy, gather it up, gather it up, gather it up… and throw that negativity down to the floor with all of your might. Release it now! Excellent! Rest for a second.
4^th Explosive Releasing Breath – Breathe in all the way, hands up, hands up… gather, gather, gather… and throw it down with 100% of your energy. Let it go!!! Wow, that’s powerful! Rest for a second.
5^th Explosive Releasing Breath – Last one, breathe in, in, in… hold it and gather the remains of that negative energy and now throw your hands down with all your might releasing it all.

Good, breathe in a deep calming breath… shake your hands then shake your feet – to shake off the remnants of stress and upset.

Part 4 – Feel The Calm

Sit down and completely relax. Put your hands on your lap with palms up. You did an amazing job. You released a ton of negativity. Feel proud of yourself because you did a great job using your potency to let go of some harmful stuck energy. Feel your energy freely flowing throughout your body.

Remember in the beginning, when I asked you to feel this upset in your body to see where it landed? Do you remember where you felt this stuck energy in your body? What was the score that you gave this feeling before the meditation? Give a new score to how you feel as a result of this meditation.

1 – Worst ever (Humiliated, Despair and Anxious)

5 – Satisfied (Neutral)

10 – Best ever (Peace, Love and Joy)

Did your score higher? Are you feeling better? Most of you will be feeling much better than you did just minutes ago.

Part 5 – Visualize Yourself Feeling Good

Since you freed yourself from some negative energy and opened up some space within your cells, it’s important for you to fill in this newly opened space with what you desire. So, take a moment to visualize yourself feeling cool, calm and at peace for the rest of your week. Go one step further and turn this visualization into a statement or affirmation. For example, I Am the center of my peace, or, I feel good.

Acknowledge yourself for doing a great job!

This powerful meditation is Day 10 of the 21 Days to Self-Love Meditation Experience, a transformative program that helps you reach your love goals, including loving yourself madly. For the next 48 hours, this amazing program is 50% off! Click here to invest in you and in love.

Your 3-Step Dating Strategy To Get Your Guy

October 25, 2015 by Tamara Leave a Comment

Having trouble getting asked out and making it to the date one, two or three? Then follow the powerful 3-Step Dating Strategy that will get you to date number three and beyond.

The Love Coach’s List Of Do’s and Don’ts for Dating Success:

Strategies prior to your first date:

Your job is to get asked out on the first date, which requires you to be a bit mysterious and not easily available. Follow these simple rules to make him chase after you.

No phone calls more than 20 minutes. Let him know that you have something to do or somewhere to go (even if you don’t).
Always be upbeat. While on the phone, actually smile and say his name often.
Don’t complain about anything. The key is to be light.
Flirty talk (not dirty) is great!
No epic texting or emails prior to the first date. Use text and emails only for brief notes.
Do not pick the place to meet. You can give him options if he’s unfamiliar with the area, but let him choose the place and make the necessary arrangements.

Strategies on your 1^st date:

Congratulations, you made it to date number one. Now your job is to get asked out for the second date. Follow these steps to make it to date number three and beyond:

Wear a red top or dress. Studies show that men are very attracted to this color, so pick a shade of red that looks good with your skin tone.
Look feminine and pretty by wearing jewelry and makeup. Go ahead and let him think that you went out of your way to look nice for him. He’ll appreciate it.
The second date should be no longer than 2 hours, which keeps you mysterious and intriguing. Even if you are having a fantastic time, tell him you must go to meet a friend or whatever. Leave him wanting more of you.
Keep the conversation very light and fun. Do not talk about your problems or your past relationships. Dating is supposed to be fun, so keep the conversation light.
Men are terrified of being rejected, so use validating comments (flirt) to let him know that you’ll say ‘yes’ if he asks you out again. Smile and say, “I’m having fun, __(his name)__.”
Don’t pick up the check or even go Dutch, which is emasculating. He must pay for all dates, even if the only thing he can afford is a slice of pizza. (Note: Once you are in a relationship and want to treat him to a home-cooked meal, that’s fine. I even tell women who are married to allow their husbands to pay for all the dates. Men want to please and treat women like a queen, so let them. It’s a turn-on.)
Do not have sex on the 1^st date!!! A little kiss or hug is fine.

Strategies on your 2^nd date:

Good job, you made it to date number two! Here are some great tips to keep him to pursuing you with passion:

Keep things light, light, light. Never talk about problems. If he does, just listen, and then change the subject to something lighter. Dating is supposed to be light and fun.
I strongly suggest that you date at least 3 men when single and looking for the One. Online dating makes this possible. This way, you’ll keep your options open and you won’t ‘put all your eggs in one basket’ too soon.
At some point before the second date is over, slip into the conversation that you are casually dating other men (even if you aren’t). This is a very effective and powerful strategy that works like a charm every time. Your ‘casual dating’ spiel could sound something like this: “I like being honest so I want you to know that I am casually dating other men, however, (lean in, smile and touch his forearm) I can’t imagine having more fun with anyone else.” – or “I haven’t laughed this much in a long time.” You say this and then change the subject. This usually turns on the man’s natural instinct to win and he’ll do anything to have you pick him over any other guy.
Don’t have sex on the 2^nd date!!! A lingering kiss is fine.

By now, your guy has asked you out again for date number three and will continue asking you out because you are a catch! He wants to be the lucky one to reel you in for that long-term relationship. The key is to never have sex with any man (intercourse, anal or oral sex) until you have a committed relationship with him. Anything else is fine – of course, only if you are very comfortable. Taking your time with kissing, petting (even heavy petting) is perfectly fine. He can wait. In fact, the more he has to wait, the more he’ll pursue you because he wants to reach the delicious goal of being chosen by you!!

Want to hear more juicy dating strategies? Click here for a powerful complementary 45-minute Guidance Session with Tamara. You’ll get clarity and relief from your love and dating problems.

3 Action Steps Now To Stop The Next Round Of Arguments

September 26, 2015 by Tamara Leave a Comment

There you go again. You and your partner fell into that awful pattern of yelling, negativity and even threats of leaving the relationship. You both are miserable but can’t quite figure out how to fix this problem. This has been going on for far too long and you are both sick of it, yet perplexed on how to solve this frustrating and endless cycle.

Even though things may have calmed down, you need an action plan now to help prevent the next round of arguments. Your next fight just may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and ends your relationship for good.

As a couple’s counselor for over 27 years, I can say with absolute conviction that this action plan works. I guarantee that if, starting today, you follow this plan to the tee, you will stop this relationship-killing pattern and completely turn things around. Is it an easy plan of action? No. Is it worth it? A resounding yes! But then, our most challenging patterns turn out to be our greatest lessons in life, right?

Take These 3 Action Steps To Prevent The Next Round Of Arguments:

1. Take full responsibility for your part in the argument.

It’s time to get humble, authentic and honest. Leave your victim-type thoughts and words out of this conversation. Victim consciousness includes blaming, judgments, criticisms, complaints and accusations. This step requires you to own up to your part, NOT THEIR PART, only yours. Make a list of your behaviors and words during the argument that you are not proud of. This takes guts but you can do it, especially if you want to stop this crazy pattern that you and your partner are in. Use your list to create your ‘I’m taking responsibility’ statements.

Here’s an example of what you could say to your partner: “Now that things are calm between us, I’d like to take responsibility for my part in our argument. I was blaming you for ___(fill in the blank)___ and that wasn’t helpful or kind. I am sorry for saying what I said. I have decided that I need to work on my habit of blaming. Please forgive me. I don’t want this to ever happen again, so I’m making a commitment to work on changing it.” Extra kudos points if you tell your partner what you are committed to do to make sure you will not do this again: start therapy, take an online course, do a workshop, read a self-help book, take up meditation, etc.

Do you want to start a meditation practice, but don't know how to begin?  You don't have to do it alone! Sign up for my Miracle Monday Meditations to take part in my 21 Week Meditation Challenge.

Don’t want to wait until a whole week between meditations, visit my shop to purchase the whole 21 Day bundle.

2. Commit to the 90-10% Rule.

Spend 90% of your time and focus looking at your behaviors and emotions versus your partners. Instead of looking at what they need to change, you make a commitment to changing you. Spend 10% of your time focused on the relationship and on your partner. 90% you – 10% your partner. The interesting thing is, the more time you spend loving and honoring you, the more able you are to authentically love your partner. In other words, your partner benefits tremendously when you are taking care of yourself.

By the way, this 90-10% rule also works great in other areas of your life. For example, if you are an entrepreneur, spend 90% of the time working on you and 10% of the time working on your business. The 90-10% is a secret to success and happiness.

3. Make a daily and forever practice of gratitude.

This one tip has saved marriages on the brink of divorce, so this is yet another powerful part of the action plan. What you focus on is what you experience. So please stop focusing on what you don’t like or want anymore. Be in the practice of telling your partner at least 3 things about them that you are grateful for – every single day. Tell them what you admire, what you love about them and what they do that makes you feel happy and special. That way, you’ll get more of what you love about them and less of what you don’t.

Same goes with you. Everyday, tell yourself at least 3 things of what you love and admire about yourself. In other words, compliment yourself – a lot!

Do you want to start a meditation practice, but don't know how to begin?  You don't have to do it alone! Sign up for my Miracle Monday Meditations to take part in my 21 Week Meditation Challenge.

Don’t want to wait until a whole week between meditations, visit my shop to purchase the whole 21 Day bundle.