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Dear Tamara,

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude! I hear about it all the time, yet I struggle with it. How can I feel grateful when I’m still single and spending my weekends alone? At age 53, this was not in my life plan! Can you help me understand why gratitude is so important and how I can generate it, especially since I’m not satisfied with how my life is going?

Signed: Dissatisfied


Dearest Dissatisfied

Gratitude is a powerful energy. When in gratitude, your energy is flowing and open to a world of possibilities. When stuck in the feeling dissatisfaction, it’s quite difficult to see the potential in what life has to offer. I experience this all the time with my dating and relationship coaching practice. The clients that tend to focus on what they don’t want, they end up generating more of what they don’t want. However, the clients who do their homework and institute a daily gratitude practice begin to see their world in a whole new and wonderful way.

When reaching for a goal or dream, it’s important to become an energy vibrational match to the very thing you desire. For many years, I’ve had a morning routine of listing three bullet points of what I’m grateful for. As a result, I live a charmed life, which includes a happy marriage, two amazing children and a career that I love filled with service and passion. For you, dearest reader, a daily practice of gratitude could certainly help you reach your dream of a loving relationship!

By following the four progressing levels to gratitude below, you will be filled with the flowing energy of gratitude in just minutes.

4 Levels To Mastering Gratitude In Minutes

Level One

It’s difficult to feel positive within the space of pain and suffering. You can begin to shift by labeling your feelings, for example:

  • I am suffering
  • What I’m going through is painful
  • My situation makes me feel discouraged

It’s healing to acknowledge exactly where you are, so take a moment to gently observe your feelings. As emotions rise to the surface, you can easily allow them to release by doing some deep breathing. To assist you in clearing negativity, do the Deep Breathing Technique.

Deep Breathing Technique:

  1. Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose while expanding your lower belly.
  2. Hold your breath for a second or two.
  3. Slowly exhale through your mouth while intentionally relaxing your body.
  4. Repeat steps 1-3 two more times or as many times as needed.

Now, let’s begin to shift into the space of gratitude.

Level Two:

Think of a moment in your life when you felt pure joy: maybe when your dream came true; held your child or grandchild for the first time; or, were acknowledged for your kindness or a success. Allow yourself to indulge in this memory.

Feel what it feels like to be there now: alive, real, victorious, loved or even loving.

What you focus on expands, so let all your senses come alive with the goodness of this moment. Smile. Be thankful now, and let this happy memory grow bigger, brighter, more vibrant, and even more colorful. You’re bringing this wonderful feeling back to life. To assist you in doing this, do another round of the Deep Breathing Technique (listed above).

Level Three:

Think of someone in your life that you feel grateful for, who has shown you love, guidance or encouragement. Think of what this person has done for you, how they stepped up and really made a difference. Allow waves of appreciation to wash over you. To assist you in doing this, do another round of the Deep Breathing Technique (listed above).

Level Four:

Focus on what’s good about you. What about YOU are you grateful for? Are you loving, determined, kind, good intentioned or loyal? To assist you in doing this, do another round of the Deep Breathing Technique (listed above).

You are now filled with the high vibrating energy of gratitude. Repeat this often for powerful results.

This blog post is featured in Tamara’s monthly column in My Authentic Life Magazine called Talk To Tamara. Click here to see the article.

For those who are going through a challenging experience, like cancer and other medical illnesses, feel calm in minutes by downloading the free Loving Meditations App. For more information, go to

Want dating and relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s guidance and finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles by clicking here.

XOXO Tamara

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