Today’s blog is from one from my dear friends, Lyn Delmastro. Hers is a story of a winding journey to deep healing. Enjoy – I know I did!
My Healing Journey to Align with True Love
I have been single for quite a number of years. It isn’t that I wasn’t interested in finding a man to share my life with but the actual finding of the right guy seemed to be a challenging task… Since I didn’t encounter many guys in my daily life that I was interested in, I would sign up for an online dating site or two, go on my share of bad first dates, a few good ones that didn’t lead anywhere, get frustrated that none of the guys that I initiated contact with would respond to me, and then take my profile off the dating site after about 3 months of trying with no success. Then I would start the cycle all over again, a few months later.
I also tried other avenues like going to speed dating events, which I have to say are not really the best venue for an introvert like me who gets overwhelmed by talking to 20 different guys in one night in a bar with loud music blasting. Last year I even worked with a matchmaker to try and find the right guy but none of the matches she set me up with were really a fit.
Beginning to feel hopeless, I also started a deeper journey of self-healing around my fears about being alone for the rest of my life, fears about being hurt in a relationship, and deepening my self-love and connection to my own sexuality. One of the main tools I used in this healing journey was BodyTalk, a powerful, gentle, and effective healing modality that is based on the idea that our bodies have the ability to heal themselves. Through neuromuscular feedback, a BodyTalk practitioner uncovers what areas in the body, mind, and spirit are not in balance. Then it uses gentle tapping over the head and heart to help the bodymind self-heal.
Through the healing process, I began to realize how there were many unhealed layers around love and relationship that were blocking me from finding someone to share my life with. I realized I would immediately begin to close down in certain situations where I was feeling attraction and connection and, energetically, I believe the guy I was going on a date with could feel that shutting down. I wanted the spark, connection, and relationship and yet I was also afraid of it and of being hurt…
After some deep healing work with BodyTalk and also using the principles of the Law of Attraction, in late February of this year, I received a message from a guy on the online dating site I had a profile on. In reading his profile and his first message to me, I was definitely very interested in getting to know more about him. After messaging back and forth over the course of a week, we talked on the phone for several hours and then arranged for our first date a couple of days later.
Our first date lasted 10 hours and was totally magical! I have never wanted to spend that much time around someone I just met… even if I felt a possible “click” with a guy, a first date of 2-3 hours was plenty long enough, but with my guy we were just having such an amazing time that we kept extending the date! We both commented on how totally comfortable and relaxed we felt with each other, almost like we knew each other already. Our first date brought out an inner flirt that I never knew I had and I had fun being playful!
After several more amazing dates, we were both ready to say that we wanted to be exclusive. We have been together for 4 months now and the connection and alignment continues to deepen further and further.
For me, being in this relationship has been tremendously healing. I have not experienced many committed relationships in my life. In high school, between being a different religion than the majority of the people in the community I grew up in and also being very mature for my age, I never really found any guys I was interested in dating. In college, I never seemed to get much attention from guys and then by the time I was in graduate school, I felt like I was very inexperienced and that inexperience felt a bit embarrassing, like something was “wrong” with me.
In addition to not finding many guys I wanted to date, I have always been quiet, introverted, a bit shy, and not particularly comfortable in making the first move. Despite being told by friends that I am an amazing person and some guy would be very lucky to have me in his life, I was wondering if it was meant to be or if I would be alone for forever. Maybe no guy that I was interested in would ever notice me or want to be with me and I would be single for the rest of my life.
In my current romantic partnership, I feel able to truly be seen and accepted for who I am. I also have a partner who encourages me to speak my mind, be assertive, ask for what I want, and take the lead when I want to. The ripples that being able to be seen and be vulnerable with the man that I love wash throughout my life and help me show up in a bigger way in the world, in my own work as a healer and in my social relationships. As I have healed my heart and opened up to love, I continue to heal through other areas of my life.
Lyn Delmastro, MA, CBP is a Certified BodyTalk Practitioner and an Intuitive Stress Management Specialist. She helps women experience less stress, anxiety, and illness and feel more at home in their bodies and in their lives. She is located in Portland, Oregon and works with clients across the country. Her website is www.biofeedbackportland.com