{Guest Blogspot} How Do I Handle My Partner’s Clutter, It’s Driving Me Nuts!

Hi Loves! This week’s blog is a remarkable piece penned by my dear friend, Christine Bové.  This is a problem so many of us have, but don’t think there is a solution.  Read this and learn from the wonderfully brilliant, Christine.  Enjoy!

xoxo,

Tamara

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chrsitine blogIt’s not easy when your partner is a clutter-bug and you are really neat. This is often one of my clients’ top complaints. I will walk around a home or receive pictures of their partner’s clutter. “You see…what am I supposed to do!” I definitely feel my client’s pain and frustration.  They want a beautiful home and a place to relax and enjoy their family but it can feel overwhelming with all that clutter!  Often I hear, “it’s not mine but I’m the one taking care it, If I don’t do it no one will.” The energy around those statements is heavy and negative. The more they talk about it the more I see and feel it draining their energy.  As I ask more questions I begin to learn that this negative energy is actually impacting my client’s relationship not just their space.

Every time we think about the clutter we create more resistance, the more we talk about it with others we create more resistance. You see, when we focus on the things we don’t want we actually create more of it. Once I explain this to my clients they begin to see how this focus negatively impacts their relationships. However, the response I get is “I just can’t ignore it!”  And I respond with , “Well it’s not working for you to focus on it, right?”

After a thoughtful pause, my clients usually think about it and by the end of the session try a new way of thinking about their situation.  It’s not really a new way of thinking, rather learning to understand the Law of Attraction. I was recently reading the book The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks. On page 36 they give a great explanation on how when we focus on our partner’s clutter and junk we are operating from a personal place of imbalance, a place of frustration and anger, a feeling this will never get cleared and I am the only one to do something about it. These thoughts take us out of alignment, creating stress and negativity in our bodies and our home. When we operate in this negative mindset no matter how much action we take it will not resolve the issues.

In fact the worst thing you could do, is get fed up and dump all your partner’s stuff! You see, they have some emotional attachment to it, from fear or resistance there is some attachment to their clutter. Here’s where Feng Shui can help you get clear on the cause of the problem. If you haven’t read my previous blog “9 Reasons to Feng Shui Your Clutter” click here.  I go into depth about how clutter in certain areas of your home relates to different areas of your life.

I had a client who was trying to get pregnant, she had a beautiful home, but still struggled with clutter in her basement and attic. It was a combination of both their stuff, but it was mostly his and it was overwhelming to her. They had a lot of good quality stuff from their past and they didn’t know what to do with it. When I brought to her attention that the basement represents the past and the attic represents the future… The “aha” moment was made and the motivation started. We discussed how to release the guilt of letting go of items that had positive meaning in their life, but just no place in their home. Once she saw this, she realized how it was impacting their ability to start a family and her husband finally agreed it was time to let go of the stuff. I helped ease the process with an energetic space clearing that shifted the attachment to their stuff. Within weeks they were motivated to sell items online and the clutter was gone. Their basement became a playroom and new office for her to start working from home, the attic was turned into a nanny’s room. With all this letting go, she finally became pregnant!

“If you are focused upon problems – the Law of Attraction will bring problems to you faster than you can fix them. If you are focused upon a disorganized home – the Law of Attraction will bring more experiences of disorder, disruption, and problems you can keep up with.”

– From the book, The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks                                              

So here’s what you need to do:

  1. Stop focusing on the clutter. Stop thinking about it and talking about it with all your friends.
  2. Find things in your space that you love – particular rooms, decor, accessories, etc. Focus your attention on these things. And yes, close the doors to the rooms with clutter.
  3. Focus on what’s working and how to make things better.

Do you have a space that’s organized and beautiful? What worked to get that space organized. Did you have fun creating? Think what worked and find that energy to do it again.

Once your energy is off the clutter and your partner’s mistakes you may be surprised that he starts to clean up his stuff or admits to you why he is stuck on his stuff. It will shift the energy of your relationship and maybe make things better or help you finally make the decision to move on. Sometimes people just have to come to that place on their own. Plus, when the energy shifts to a more positive place in the home, they may become more energized to make a change with their stuff.

So, if you raise your energy they may just follow and soon the clutter will leave on its own.

Still not convinced…. just give it a try for the next 21 days and leave a comment below. I know you will see a difference.

If you feel overwhelmed, book a Feng Shui consultation and let me help you clear the clutter and get organized. Click here to set up a complimentary 15 minute consultation to chat with me about your home. Once you fill out the application you will receive an email to schedule your complimentary session.

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christine2Christine Bové is a speaker, author and Feng Shui expert. Christine teaches busy career women how to simplify their lifestyle from their work, home, wardrobe and diet.Christine uses Feng Shui to create a mindset for success while also helping clients organize and beautify their space to create an image that reflects their personal style.  Christine has the ability to see beyond her client’s words and look deeper to begin true healing. Christine is also the co-author of Balance for Busy Moms: A Stress-Free Guide to Tranquility, in which she teaches mom’s how to manage and maintain organization in their homes without losing herself. Christine is the co-creator of the Glamour + Metal documentary, a documentary on personal branding. Christine lectures at women’s organizations, corporations, networking groups and teaches online classes. To learn more about Christine, visit www.christinebove.com and sign up for her FREE Mini Video Series on Feng Shui.

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