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Dear Tamara,

I have an intention that this is the year I’ll be in a great relationship. But quite frankly, I believe it to be more of a fantasy than a future reality. In fact, I doubt it because my dating and relationship experience has been dismal. However, I’m really good about doing my homework, so I say my affirmation statement everyday. But I think I’m doing something wrong. Can you give me some advice on how to turn my intention into a real live relationship with a great guy?

Signed: Doubtful


Dear Doubtful:

There is a surefire way to make your affirmation work for you. Turn your intention into a powerful visualization. You’re already fantasizing about being with a great guy, which means that you have tapped into the tool that can help you actualize this in real life. Visualization, the kind that involves imagining success in love, has long been employed by professional athletes to create amazing results. Research shows that many professions are using the tools of visualization quite effectively: surgeons use it to possess laser focus; musicians use it to improve their performance; and, business executives use it to ace a presentation. Many use it to stay on their diets to lose weight. You too, you can use visualization to call in your beloved and to experience the relationship you’ve always dreamed of – even before he physically shows up.

How Visualization Works

Your brain believes what you imagine. Brain science reveals that you experience real-world and imaginary actions in similar ways. For example, whether you are acing an event or only picturing it, you activate many of the same neural networks and pathways of nerve cells that link your body to the brain impulses that control it. What’s on your mind screen stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, which activates an increase in heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure. Just by envisioning a movement, such as holding hands with your partner-to-be, elicits nervous-system responses of that same action.

The more you envision, the more you’re able to activate your emotions that match the desired scene of your mind screen. The more detailed the visualizations with your beloved become, the faster you can achieve what you desire. This is because you are creating new neuro-pathways in your brain. Plus, your nervous system reaps the benefits: increase in calm and confidence and decrease in heart rate and stress hormones.

Three Simple Steps To Turn Fantasy Into Reality

  1. Visualize with detail: Go ahead and imagine yourself holding hands with your beloved as if it’s happening right now. (Important note: I do not recommend that you have a particular man in mind because the Universe may have someone much better that’s intended just for you.) Imagine that you are watching you in your own movie where you are the star. In your mind, create the scene or interaction of you with your beloved. Let all your senses come alive. What are you feeling, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching in this beautiful scene? Are you walking hand-in-hand on a gorgeous beach while on vacation together? Are you both in a kitchen making dinner and laughing hysterically? Maybe it’s a quiet scene where both of you are cuddled up on the couch reading books. Allow yourself to feel happy and giddy with excitement. These emotions activate your nervous system in a wonderfully positive way.
  2. Visualize often: Deeply surrender into this imagination, sensing and feeling it all. It feels good, right? To make your visualizations extra powerful, it’s important to create a momentum. This means doing it for at least 2 minutes everyday. Eventually, add in more detail each time and increase your imagination play for up to 5 minutes per day. Smile and bask in the feelings of joy, excitement and peace. Sense the deep love and adoration you feel for your partner-to-be. Allow yourself to feel how grateful he is to have you and your love in his life. He is one fortunate man!!
  3. Commit completely: Make a pledge that you will never stop your visualizations until the One shows up in the flesh. This is a commitment that you are making to yourself so don’t give up.


XOXO Tamara

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