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Dear Tamara,

The thought of going through a Valentine’s Day without my ex-boyfriend is breaking my heart. He left me for someone else. My emotions are like a Ping-Pong ball because one minute I’m scheming on how to win him back and the next I’m plotting his demise. The truth is, I need to move on, but how? Please help release me of my suffering.

Signed: Love Crazed


Dear Love Crazed:

I’m so sorry that your heart is broken, but I’m here to tell you that your suffering will not last forever, even though it may feel that way right now.

It’s important to know that the ending of one relationship sets the tone for your next one. When you hold lingering feelings toward your ex, such as, resentment, pining or un-forgiveness, then most likely, you will experience difficulties in your next relationship or in attracting your new love. Negativity is a lower energy vibration that, like a magnet, attracts that lower energy right into your life, such as, challenges and loneliness.

There is an easy and fun solution to releasing your ex and what blocks you from your new love. I call it Jarring For Love. Before I explain what that is, let me first tell you an amazing group of curious school children from Korea.

An entire second grade class created a very interesting experiment having to do with love, hate and indifference. They filled three mason jars 3/4 full of water and placed a fresh onion on top of each container. One jar was labeled Love Me. The second jar was labeled Hate Me. The last jar was labeled, Ignore Me.

Every day during classroom time, whenever the children would pass by the Love Me jar, they would say, “I love you, you’re so beautiful, I love you!” Whenever they passed by the Hate Me jar, they would say, “I hate you, you’re ugly, I hate you!” Whenever they passed by the third jar, the kids ignored it altogether.

After two months, the results were remarkable. The loved onion thrived and grew very strong green stocks out the top and vibrant roots underneath. The hated onion turned light brown, had wilted and stocks and shriveled roots. The most fascinating result was with the ignored onion because it looked the worst of all. It was dark brown and 1/3 its original size. Its stocks nor roots grew. In fact, the poor onion became a rotted mess.

The experiment didn’t end here. Feeling sorry for the hated and ignored onions, the children decided to love them back to health. In only 30 days of being blasted with love, the onions were rejuvenated back to their thriving, fresh and original state, once again.

This is an amazing lesson for all of us on the powerful impact of love, hate and indifference. The fact is that love cures everything, even our past relationships. It’s the energy of love that will release and unblock you, too. Like the failing onions, love will rejuvenate your heart to a higher vibration and attract your new and amazing beloved.

Your inflamed ego, which operates form fear, is telling you to either blame your ex for how you feel or to win him back to feel better. However, your heart, which operates from love, is telling you to let go of your pining and bitterness. Your heart knows that doing so will set you free. Jarring For Love is an invitation for your Higher Self to take over, for your Loving Self to cure your past so that you can step into your future relationship with ease.

6 Steps To ‘Jarring’ Your Ex To Attract Your New Love

  1. Take a large jar, box, vase or any other container you wish and label it with your ex’s name or photo. Or, simply label it, “Releasing My Past With Love”, or something similar.
  2. Looking at your jar, hold up your right hand and read this, “I, ___(your name)___, hereby swear, that for the next 30 days or more, I will not pass by this container without sending it my love, forgiveness, gratitude, and compassion. In this moment, I surrender my past, releasing it to the wisdom of my own Higher Self.”
  3. Place your container in an area of your home where you will pass by it most often. For most people, it’s the kitchen.
  4. Besides sending the energy of love, etc., also, feed your container everyday with kind notes to your ex and to yourself, affirmations, crystals, prayer beads, intentions or anything else that your heart desires. Release your ex and your heart by saying to your container, “Thank you for our time together. Because of our relationship, I learned about myself, about love and about life. You helped me to be clear about what I now truly desire, so thank you!”
  5. As you release, prepare your heart for receiving. As if you are watching you in your own movie, see the loving relationship that you are now deciding to have. Get excited about this happening. Be grateful now for what you are creating for your loving future.
  6. Have fun doing this. Be light-hearted and smile a lot.


XOXO Tamara

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