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Finding love for many people is an ominous endeavor. Both sexes usually launch into this journey completely unprepared. You may start off with great intentions for attracting in a Loving Relationship, but without proper preparation it can be a daunting, if not a painful, experience.

Men and women usually begin this love venture by saying, “Yep, now I’m going to find my soul mate, here I go.” Meanwhile, they are filled with fear of rejection or terrified that they’ll have a repeat of their last disastrous relationship. Many are even confused and filled with anxiety on how to navigate the waters of dating again. They question if they are too old, too fat, too thin, too out of shape, too poor, not good enough, or not worthy enough, just to mention a few.

Is any of this resonating with you? Did you feel these fears and went ahead and posted a profile on an online dating site anyway?  Are you wondering why you are not getting any matches? Or, are the matches that you are getting completely ‘off the mark’ of what you are looking for?

The reason why there are no matches, or your matches are so ‘off the mark’, is because your internal world is also ‘off the mark.’ You are not in an energy vibration that matches what you desire. Think of it this way. Let’s say you had a desire to run the marathon. You wouldn’t just go out and run the marathon without preparation first, would you? No, of course not. But that’s exactly what so many people do in the attempts of finding their beloved.

OK, what creates energy vibration? It’s your thoughts, feelings, actions, emotions, and beliefs which have an either contracted or an expanded energy to them. I created a scale (see below) to help explain this further.  Let’s say that ‘0’ is the lowest energy vibration there is. Examples of feelings in this vibrational level would be fear, grief, depression, despair and powerlessness.  The feelings for a ‘5’ on this scale would be frustration, irritation, impatience and disappointment. A ’10’ on this scale would be joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, and gratitude.

(Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, Emotions, and Beliefs on an Energy Vibration Scale)

Your desire and goal to meet your beloved is at a ’10.’ (a very high vibration). In fact, the moment, and I mean that very moment, that you have a heart’s desire for something, the Universe instantly goes into motion. Energetically speaking, your desire is created. In other words, your beloved is there, waiting in the wings for you to BE the same vibrational match, which is when your beloved actualizes into physical form. That’s how creating what you desire (and don’t desire, for that matter) works. It’s about having your thoughts, feelings, actions, emotions and beliefs a vibrational match, even if only 20% of the time, to what your heart most desires.

I was working with one of my single clients last week, and she realized that after years of dating, she has been in the energy vibration of “waiting” for her soul mate (she gave it a ‘5’ on the scale). In fact, she had been dating a man for this past year and “waiting” for him to go exclusive with her. She now sees why she keeps attracting men that are “not ready for commitment” (also a ‘5’ on the scale), which completely matches the vibration of “waiting”. Just figuring this out immediately released her (a higher vibration). She called him after her session with me and let him go, telling him that she deserves so much more than he was giving her. I am very proud of her courage and self-respect.

Stay tuned for next week’s Newsletter from Tamara where she goes into more detail about how to raise your vibration to match your desires.

Tamara’s Tips:

For instant relief of being in a contracted/lower vibration, make peace with where you are right now. For example, if you are single, then make peace with being single. If you have judgments about how terrible and difficult it is to be single, then you are in a state of resistance to what is. Know that what is waiting for you in the wings is in the same vibration of your desires. When you make peace with your current circumstances, then you are in the space of allowance to actualizing your dreams. In other words, peace with what is (a high vibration of ’10’ on the scale) is the same as your dreams (also a high vibration – a ’10’ on the scale). Do you see how it works? Good, keep dreaming.

“You don’t have to ‘be healed’ to have love, just be in the vibration of love.”   – Tamara Green, LCSW Loving Relationship Expert


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